Love?

[~Meta Morphosis~]

Honestly can you answer this? My mom dated a crackhead who sold her stuff beat her and abused her kids. My mom would call it love I have no idea why I mean she would wake up the next morning like nothing happened. Of course my family tried to get her away from him but to no prevail she went back to him again and again. Shortly after my brothers death she went into depression and soon started beating us due to the frustrations she would have towards her lover. Why would she call it love and be so stupid to give up her kids for a lost cause?

[ЄмВаьє♫]

OH wow...one of these...All I can tell you...is it isn't love...but when a girl gets beaten...the guy makes it seem like it is her fault..and that he loves her so he is still with her blah blah. It is a very ugly cycle...and it usually wont stop...That thing will totally mess up a person and their thought process. It isnt an attack on you..its simply..he is thinking for her..and is beaten into submission.. :( I hate this topic..ive seen girls go back over and over again..and its still somewhat of a mystery..just know ..your not alone in this process

[~Meta Morphosis~]

Ty Em for your response it's hard to wonder though why you would go back if you and your kids are in danger really hard to deal with it all too sadly she is still with the b*****d after all these years.

[PackerGirl]

Some people's self esteems are so low that they will stay in a horrible relationship like your mom did. If they feel like they can't do any better, then they will stay in the only relationship they think they're worthy of. Or in other cases, the woman (or male in some cases) will think they can change the other with their love. In my opinion, the relationship your mom was in isn't love. Love shouldn't hurt you or disrespect you...it should be supportive and unconditional.

[coloradocowgirl]

speaking from experience in an abusive relationship.. first they never make sense to anyone.. second, some women arn't strong enough to think it's abusive.. they play the if only game.. if only i hadn't done that.. or if only i hadn't made him mad.. and promise themselves to do better.. they do often feel like thats what they deserve.. and that no one will want them except the abuser.. unforunatly it sounds like your mom has other issues going on at the same time and those help to keep her in the abusive relationship.. i'm sure he helps to feed her habits? so that he can keep her where he wants her... it's not love.. its control... As someone who has gone through it.. i would suggest you get counseling to help you deal with it and I pray your mom can find the strength she needs to break free...

[~Meta Morphosis~]

Thank you all for your responses, now in my opinion I do not know why still she would put her self through this truth be told we can never tell what one person in their minds are thinking, that being said though she was not thinking clearly we can only speculate what si going on and why people in these kinds of relationships stay in them and go through what they do.

I have assigned reputation points to all the people that responded some of your answers were really interesting and fun to read and it shows here we have a great community that you would take the time to give your thoughts on the matter.

Thank you,

[Sublime LIME]

THese men are often very very good at manipulation with mental and emotional abuse. The victims often are unaware of what is happening until they are enmeshed in the cycle so deeply that even if they wanted to at times they wouldnt leave.

Fundamentally woman need to know they are worth rescuing and men need to know they have what it takes to be a man. If these two things are not realized then the disfunction often gets out of control.

[Louize]

I've been in two very abusive relationships, but we've spoken about this, Meta.

Firstly, by the time i got out of them, i had found the strength to realise that it wasnt my fault, and i even question why i stayed with mine, at the time i thought it was love, i thought it was my own fault, i thought i didnt deserve better... It wasnt until worse happened that i got out of it, but my mind set wasnt right, i relied on him, i couldnt do anything because he said i couldnt...

Women discover their self worth sooner or later, and sadly its normally later. I would honestly say that your mother is probably so under the control of this man, that she feels she CANT leave, its no longer a matter of wanting to - Its sad, i see women go through it and i want to help, but when i was going through it i was alienated because he slowly ground down my social life ect.

I really hope your mum gets out of it, because no woman deserves to go through what she is, and nor do her kids, and the only thing i can suggest is that you stay strong, which we both know, is easier said than done... Talking does help, and friends do too... Just remember, you're worth more than this, and you're amazing...

I really hope you and your mother and siblings all find the strength to get out/move on from this... I know how hard it can be.

[~Meta Morphosis~]

Thank you all for your responses, now in my opinion I do not know why still she would put her self through this truth be told we can never tell what one person in their minds are thinking, that being said though she was not thinking clearly we can only speculate what si going on and why people in these kinds of relationships stay in them and go through what they do.

I have assigned reputation points to all the people that responded some of your answers were really interesting and fun to read and it shows here we have a great community that you would take the time to give your thoughts on the matter.

Thank you,
Thread is closed.