Jamie's Movie Reviews

[jamie]

Just throw up some reviews of some movies you've seen. I watch some weird movies like b movies. Love em well some of them but anyway here is my first review




Meet The spartans - 5/10



It actually wasn't that bad yeah in parts it got annoying and some of the references were outdated which I have to say is pretty sad as this movie was made I think a year ago. It's basically a 300 ripoff with some random things thrown in. Stuff from super hero movies, action movies, oh and american idol/dancing with the stars.

Would I watch it again? not really but if your looking for a movie and nothing is sticking out you'll be ok with this one.

[nicole]

i saw the black knight twice and it wasn't all that great.







*ducks tomatos*

[jamie]

the black knight was that that martain lawrence movie?

[nicole]

oops!! lmao



dark knight. LOLZ

[jamie]

oops!! lmao



dark knight. LOLZ


Watch it until you love it. I'll send Batman to your house and go off on you.

[jamie]

Friday the 13th part 3




5/10


they kinda shot their wad early on this one. the last I think he killed 8 people in an hour and twelve minutes. Which leaves 1 person left for the last 20 minutes or so.


The first 3 kills were bikers

then he started to off the group of people

I don't really notice mistakes alot but this one I noticed two one was the boom mike reflection and the other one you could see the camera filming which is pretty funny. I have to check the rest out though to see if I see anything else like that I know these were for the most part low budget movies I think so. The character that was the most annoying was this shelley dude. he kept pulling stupid pranks so I was glad when he died. They should have made his death more gruesome.


With these horror movies you have to really not look at how stupid the characters are just because they are supposed to be that way and the way I see it is that really the killer is the hero he's eradicating morons off the planet earth.


that's the way I see it and I applaud Jason Voorhees for it only bad time is when he kills hot chicks. that makes me a sad panda.



man gotta love that. Jason gets hung and as the chick gets down there he lifts up his mask and smiles at her and gets out of it. Then this black dude comes out of nowhere and gets macheted like 20 times. Then Jason gets an axe to the head.


ending was for some reason she felt safe on water in a canoe and ofcourse Jason gets her or does he?

[jamie]

Friday the 13th the final chapter


3/10



this one isn't my favorite one and you can tell it's a 80s movie from corey feldman in there. Not sure why kids are in the movie but anytime kids are in a horror movie like this it's just maked the movie bad. Crispin Glover also is in this one. This one just isn't my favorite 13th movie.



Haven't seen a character I hate just yet but the Teddy guy is kinda grinding my gears. Everybody is hooking up except him he's watching a stag film.


Always great when somebody asks for the corkscrew and then gets it jammed in their hand.



awesome some chick was looking out her window and jason grabs her and throws her down onto the car.


Corey Feldman went ape nuts on jason and like macheted him like 20 times or more.


There was like no action in that movie at all. It didn't flow well.

[jamie]

Friday the 13th a new beginning 5/10



Another kid in the movie but the movie was a whole lot better. My favorite part was that two people were killed while trying to go to the bathroom. And ofcourse the dude riding his motorcycle gets it. Also can't beat a mom calling her son a dildo and spitting in her soup,


This one was more action oriented the character that killed jason in the last movie I posted about is back he's kinda the main character and is not kinda nutty. I would honestly call this more of a friday the 13th ripoff than anything as jason really doesn't show up and it's not set at camp crystal lake.

[jamie]

Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

5/10

Ok so tommy is back and trying to kill jason again if that were me I'd be somewhere else and not going back to camp crystal lake.


Reminder if your buddy ever says hey let's go see jason voorhees grave and dig him up. I want you to look at your buddy and slap him across the face as hard as you can.


Kind of a bond thing in the opening kinda cool



Tommy is back? wow I thought he took over for him. (tommy is corey feldmans character)


haha this dude wanted to pick up jason and his girlfriend said no. Now his bright idea is to "scare" him moron


Oh now he;s a tough guy wit ha gun this won't end well

me personally I wouldn't swerve either


yup a piece of gate through the gut

girlfriend piece of gate through the chest and somehow the american express card is floating (good advertising)



More kids which I don't like


haha farthead



sweet fire on the water.


sweet boat propellor to the face of jason.


the last two and a half movies tried to involve a storyline which was their downfall I think. It's jason he has no rhyme or reason for what he does other than kill moron kids for the most part.

[jamie]

Friday the 13th: new blood


4/10



It wasn't that bad of a movie kinda cool to see a psychic in there. No kids which is good and a pretty decent amount action. only thing I didn't like was that the psychic chick called her dad to help her and he drug jason back to the lake. The dad wasn't messed up in anyway and he's been dead for 10 years + so yeah.

[jamie]

Carrie (original one) 3/10






Kinda started out like a softcore porn film. There was nudity everywhere.




Basically it's about this chick who got her first period and her religious nut of a mother never told her about any of that stuff so anyway she freaks out about it and asks for help and the girls laugh at her. then they get disciplined and plot their revenge on Carrie




I have to say that the mom is super crazy. She's crazier than a squirrel with nuts in it's mouth.


I didn't find it scary at all. The story was kinda cool but everything else sucked.

[jamie]

Shutter - 5/10




Pretty cool movie though the ending was kinda drawn out a bit. It's about this photographer and his new wife they get married and he takes a job in japan. Anyway driving to Tokyo the girl hits a person well it turns out to be a ghost. It's like a horror/mysters type of movie. Anyway after she hits the ghost girl she notices strange things in pictures and tries to get rid of the ghost. The ending was kinda cool and definately a new take on things though it lasted a bit longer than it should have. I didn't think it was that scary it was mostly a mystery movie.

[BoSoxGrrl]

Carrie (original one) 3/10






Kinda started out like a softcore porn film. There was nudity everywhere.




Basically it's about this chick who got her first period and her religious nut of a mother never told her about any of that stuff so anyway she freaks out about it and asks for help and the girls laugh at her. then they get disciplined and plot their revenge on Carrie




I have to say that the mom is super crazy. She's crazier than a squirrel with nuts in it's mouth.


I didn't find it scary at all. The story was kinda cool but everything else sucked.

Carrie was good for it's time.

[jamie]

Carrie was good for it's time.


Yeah I didn't think it was bad it was just kinda missing something. Not sure what though.

[HOTsunrise]

Yeah I didn't think it was bad it was just kinda missing something. Not sure what though.

As a little boy in the late '70s, I found Carrie to be creepy but not terrifying (her mom was the scariest one in the flick). I give it a solid 7/10.

I still hear the movie quote "they'll all laugh at you" bouncing around in my head from time to time. :D

[BoSoxGrrl]

As a little boy in the late '70s, I found Carrie to be creepy but not terrifying (her mom was the scariest one in the flick). I give it a solid 7/10.

I still hear the movie quote "they'll all laugh at you" bouncing around in my head from time to time. :D

hehe I find myself saying that from time to time. When I was younger I found it pretty scary. The mother was classic.

[jamie]

As a little boy in the late '70s, I found Carrie to be creepy but not terrifying (her mom was the scariest one in the flick). I give it a solid 7/10.




Yeah she was definately the creepiest part of the movie. The only thing that made me kinda jump was when the chick was deraming and she put flowers where the house was and carrie's arm jumped out and grabbed her. I knew it was coming but I hate those moments.

[HOTsunrise]

Yeah she was definately the creepiest part of the movie. The only thing that made me kinda jump was when the chick was deraming and she put flowers where the house was and carrie's arm jumped out and grabbed her. I knew it was coming but I hate those moments.

LOL, Yep, that was a classic moment for sure.

I always got a good laugh when William Katt got conked in the head with the "blood bucket". :D

[jamie]

yeah that was pretty funny too. Plus seeing john travolta was kinda funny too.

[Kyle]

Grand Torino

8/10

It's a great movie. It has a lot of laughs that are not really meant to be funny. A lot of racial Slurs in this film. The way Clint handles the problem at the end is quite different from how he would have handled the same situation in the past. It is defiantly a must see movie.

[jamie]

The uninvited 5/10 (yeah I will never be a professional reviewer)




So yeah this one was pretty scary or I should say had some scary parts to it. Basically it starts out in a girls dream and blah blah blah who cares well lookey here her dad got married while the daughter was in nutso ward number nutty. And her sister makes an appearance and blah blah blah it's like the hand that rocked the cradle. Watch for the surprise double ending. It's almost nuttier than the girl.

[jamie]

Sorority babes in the slimeball bowl o rama


5/10




The movie is about well a few different things. 3 perverted guys and 5 sorority chicks. The dudes decide to check out the initiation of the sorority chicks and they get caught. Well the 3 sorority chicks decide the final initiation is to make those 3 guys and the two new chicks go to the mall and steal a bowling trophy. As they are trying to look for the trophy they meet up with another chick who is robbing the place.

I have to say one of the characters couldn't decide on if he was canadian, american or a surfer dude from california. He switched between accents pretty well.

Ok so the robber chick helps the people break into the trophy room and one of the dudes picks a trophy for them to steal. Don't remember exactly what happens but the trophy gets dropped and a genie appears a claymation genie.

so the other 3 chicks (one of their dads owns the mall) decide to also go and try and scare the people stealing the trophy. Anyway the genie decides to grant wishes he also I guess senses the three girls watching in the camera and decides to turn them into demons. One was the bride of frankenstein and the other was just a generic demon I guess.

So ofcourse the wishes go bad within minutes of them being granted. and then all hell breaks loose and people start dying.


It was a ok movie considering it was a B movie.




Might as well show it. This is like the important parts of the movie


nxIXzSLTmJM

[leighanneslittlehorns]

Too much blah-blah and not enough vroom-vroom in this clunker


The four original stars of “The Fast & The Furious” are back for the streamlined-title sequel “Fast & Furious,” but the producers’ effort to assemble them anew assumes that audiences are coming to these movies for the characters and not for the car stunts.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29979538/

[leighanneslittlehorns]

Coming-of-age tale is sweet, sensitive and hilarious

While the ads for “Adventureland” promise that it’s “From the director of ‘Superbad’!” it might actually be truer — if less advantageous from a marketing point of view — to say “From the director of ‘The Daytrippers’!” While Greg Mottola is the filmmaker behind all three of these comedies, his new movie is more about understated wit than outrageous antics. (Not that there’s anything wrong with either.)

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/ap/b01b2521-1bbd-40f0-86d1-46421a7b014c.hmedium.jpg

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29979747/

[jamie]

Don't Mess With The Zohan 6/10


I only really laughed twice at the movie just had a hard time giving up reality in this one. Good story and it was different which was cool comedy was ok. I did notice Sandler at times would speak english pretty well but other times he would butcher it really badly. I thought that was kinda funny.

I think Sandler plays a Israeli spy and he gets tired of the fighting and wants to become a hair stylist only problem he's stuck in like the late 70's or early 80's. Anyway He ends up falling for the owner of the salon he is working for and she is palistinian. Anyway the other thing I didn't get is that he was banging all his customers in a back room yet nobody said anything or just played dumb not sure which one but that didn't make any sense.

It is nice to see Sandler do more adult oriented comedies though.

[leighanneslittlehorns]

LOS ANGELES - Miley Cyrus and alter-ego Hannah Montana have double-teamed their way to another No. 1 box office debut.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-090407-miley-new/ss-090407-miley-01.hmedium.jpg

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30180982/

[BoSoxGrrl]

Watched this one last night. I didn't really think I was going to like it all that much cuz I generally find myself disappointed with comic and/or cartoon related movies but this movie was actually really good. There were some really cool scenes & I liked the storyline. I can't say I ever followed the comic or anything. Well, I used to always flip through them for the art but never read them, so perhaps someone who knows the storyline would be disappointed with the movie - who knows.

I liked it, though. I definitely recommend watching it!

[jamie]

Didn't know the Wolverine movie was out dang.



Crank 2

10/10

the movie was so awesome it made baby jesus cry




This movie was awesome. It's better than the first but it's a movie that would keep your attention if you had ADD. The storyline was that Chelios survived the chopper crash and a unknown gang scrapes him off the cement and then steal his heart and put in a artificial one that he has to keep charged.


there were so many funny parts in the movie they should keep doing them.


Go see the movie right now. Drop whatever your doing and see it right now.

[nicole]

lol 10/10 by jamie!!! mark it down!!!

[leighanneslittlehorns]

Didn't know the Wolverine movie was out dang.



Crank 2

10/10

the movie was so awesome it made baby jesus cry




This movie was awesome. It's better than the first but it's a movie that would keep your attention if you had ADD. The storyline was that Chelios survived the chopper crash and a unknown gang scrapes him off the cement and then steal his heart and put in a artificial one that he has to keep charged.


there were so many funny parts in the movie they should keep doing them.


Go see the movie right now. Drop whatever your doing and see it right now.


‘Crank’ sequel is gloriously over the top

‘High Voltage’ is just as violently cuckoo-bananas as the original

Review
By Alonso Duralde
Film critic
msnbc.com contributor
updated 7:15 p.m. ET, Fri., April 17, 2009

With its combination of fourth-wall-shattering onscreen graphics, self-conscious art direction and camera moves, ADHD editing, incongruous song choices (lowriders blast Little Anthony and the Imperials’ “Tears on My Pillow” on their car stereo, for instance), pneumatic nudity and outrageous ultra-violence, “Crank: High Voltage” is, in its own unique way, pure cinema.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30268887/

[jamie]

lol 10/10 by jamie!!! mark it down!!!

Nicole you must see this movie. It's so awesome.

[BoSoxGrrl]

Wolverine isn't out until May 1st. I watched a workprint of it.

[jamie]

That sucks I've been waiting for the movie for awhile now. I can wait a few more weeks though.

[StuckInALemon]

I just saw Taken...AWESOME

And just watched The Wrestler....also VERY good.

[jamie]

X-men Origins: Wolverine 6/10


Wasn't too bad the movie really should have been rated R. It's been awhile since I read comics so the story seemed about right. There were a few characters I wasn't sure who they were and even after I saw who they were it didn't ring a bell. Like most of the time I could being crap out from somewhere in my mind but none of the names were familiar. The black dude in the cowboy hat was one, Agent Zero the other. Might have been a few more but those were the ones I remember.


I wish it tied more into the X-men movie a bit but really Wolverines beginning was basically on his own. I don't remember the teams he joined before the X-men I think there were one or two but maybe they are going to hit on that on the second movie.


It needed more action I thought storyline was good enough but definately nowhere near Iron Man or Dark Knight

[jamie]

Conjurer 4/10



Basically a couple end up having their child die while in the womb and about a year or so later they move out to a farm and odd things start to happen. There wasn't any really scary moments I don't even think the entity makes an appearance. Ending was screwed up and I didn't like it.

The legend I guess is that a chick a long time ago built a cabin on some land and the land owner told her to get off. he was off at war and came back to see the cabin there. Not entirely sure what happens but the chick is accused of being a witch and gets hung and she had a kid on the way. So the chick haunts and destroys anybody who wants to destoy the cabin. And that's where the new owners come in.

[jamie]

DeathWish 2 5/10


Man these gangs really do have a deathwish. Basically Charles Bronson gets pickpocketed, runs down a gang member let's him go and the gang comes to his house and does some nasty things. They knock Bronson out with a crowbar and he lives. Bronson then goes on a bad guy killing spree (kinda) only like 10 people die in the movie. So Bronson ends up killing the whole gang and gets away.


Charles Bronson is badass but the DeathWish movies are kinda crappy even by my standards. Love the idea of a vigilante fighting crime it's just the movie is boring.

[jamie]

Star Trek 8/10




I'm not a trekkie but this was a good movie. I know the basics about star trek and that's it like a few characters and like what they are supposed to do. But I enjoyed it and if they did another few movies with the same cast I would see all of them.

[jamie]

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan 4/10



I figured I'd give the star trek experience a few more movies. Well more like they just randomly came on ondemand. I got one more to watch but this one just had little action. It was like story line then action at the end. It was pretty cool seeing the two ships go into the nebula and probably the best part of the movie but before that I got kinda bored with the movie. I can't beleive they killed off a key character though I don't believe he's really dead.


The other thing that kinda made me a little ticked off is that 2 of the ships crew were under mind control and it's like Kirk didn't really care and let them tag a long with them and ofcourse the mind controlled dudes tried to kill kirk. It's like atleast acknowledge you know that they are under mind control. Oh the other thing was that in the first line of dialogue that Kirstie Alley had I don't remember what she said but she was talking to Sulu and it was something like Mr. Sulu I know what I am doing just do it mister. And that was pretty corny

[jamie]

Island of the dead


Not sure what the movie is about it's kind of all over the place. But from what I gather is that there's a police chick looking for missing people, a land developer that is going to develop housing on this island where there are a bunch of dead people.


Anyway everybody for some reason meets at the docks and as the land developer gets out (he's in his 70's I think) Rap music starts playing for about 5 minutes. The music came out of nowhere.

the killer are a bunch of flies? uh yeah that makes no sense. They should just have had a bunch of dragon flies atleast that would have been more frightening


I think the people on the island are a bunch of morons. Basically the flies eat people up and lay eggs in them which makes more flies. But the maggots eat the flesh I guess and if you get bit by one your basically dead. And these people don't see that.

[jamie]

^It's like they were trying to tell 2 stories in one and one of the stories really didn't matter and they didn't really go into it. There was no character developement except with one of the characters but it was just enough to know what he was doing on the island. The main character there was kind of a story but not really they just explained that she was found on the streets and that names matter to her. Anyway 3/10

[vampire13]

i just watched "GET SMART" on dvd and laughed my ass off the best reboot or remake or update whatever i have seen to date

[jamie]

Ninja Cheerleaders 6/10



basically it's about 18 year old high school students who are ninjas and are strippers at night so they can get money for college. Everything is going good until their sense (george Takei) gets kidnapped and the girls have to go against the mob.

Wasn't too bad of a movie I loved it when like the police officer finds them and talks to them they act like airheaded teenage girls and it's just funny. Anyway check it out if your in a weird mood. There is some nudity but not too much. None of the main girls get naked.

[jamie]

Head Trauma 2/10



Not sure what the story is but basically this dude comes back to his dead grandmas house. Thinking he's a squatter this dude goes inside and an altercation ensues and the main dude hits his head on some stairs. The only reason the dude came back to town is to fix up the house and sell it. My problem with this is that why not just let the people knock it down. He obviously has no connection to the house at all or he would have came back to town after his grandma died.

Anyway it's just a really bad movie with no real story line. One of his visions is that of a cloaked figure and it's so obviously him.

[jamie]

American Ninja 4 6/10



Kinda boring until the last part of the movie. It's about an American Ninja you kinda have to watch the first movies to know what's going on. But anyway Joe the american ninja has to infiltrate a camp of ninjas that kidnapped 3 of his friends but he changed his ways and is teaching kids in some 3rd world country. Anyway he decides to come out of retirement to save his friends as they are going to be executed by some arabian dude who somehow has a band of ninjas. So he goes in kicks everybody's ass and gets his friends out. The awesome thing about this movie is this ninja was about to shoot joe with a crossbow. Joe catches the arrow with his teeth and about this time another ninja comes up behind joe and joe with the arrow in his teeth stabs the other dude in the neck with it and kills him. That is badass.

[Arrow]

American Ninja 4 6/10



Kinda boring until the last part of the movie. It's about an American Ninja you kinda have to watch the first movies to know what's going on. But anyway Joe the american ninja has to infiltrate a camp of ninjas that kidnapped 3 of his friends but he changed his ways and is teaching kids in some 3rd world country. Anyway he decides to come out of retirement to save his friends as they are going to be executed by some arabian dude who somehow has a band of ninjas. So he goes in kicks everybody's ass and gets his friends out. The awesome thing about this movie is this ninja was about to shoot joe with a crossbow. Joe catches the arrow with his teeth and about this time another ninja comes up behind joe and joe with the arrow in his teeth stabs the other dude in the neck with it and kills him. That is badass.

Haha, sounds like a politically incorrect hullabaloo you would watch when you are so frustrated in life but not too frustrated to watch a fairy tale.

[jamie]

Fairy tale? That was inspired by true stories.

[jamie]

Transformers 2




It was allright not a huge fan of Megan Fox but this movie makes her so hot I want to have her babies. Anyway movie was pretty cool a few things that didn't make sense to me and brought the movie down but they weren't big things and I guess they coulda been cut from the movie. The first 5 minutes were hard to see the camera was way too tight for what was happening. they did this on the first Bond car chase in the last movie and I didn't like it either. But yeah go see it it's definately $9.75 (or whatever your prices are) well spent.

[Arrow]

Fairy tale? That was inspired by true stories.

I didn't say it's a fairy tale. ;)

[jamie]

Enter The Nnja 2/10



horrible movie. Had a few funny scenes but it was bad. This really did remind me of a bad A-team episode just longer and worse. My main gripe about the movie is that the main ninja is a white dude which I don't really care as long as they can fight but this dude couldn't fight and had no training. Anyway he didn't even fight in his fight scenes he used a body double. Which to me if your going to do a action movie atleast learn some basic moves his kicks are laughable and don't look right they are like stiff but in the bad way.

[jamie]

Pineapple Express 4/10




It's about a weed dealer and his I guess client. Anyway this dude gets a special weed from somebody and his friend buys it. His friend witnesses a murder and leaves the joint there. With the weed inside being sold to only one person the dealer and the friend go on the run. Anyway it was stupid not really any funny jokes or any cool things happening. It was just a blah movie all around.


I also got the feeling the movie was really about 3 gay guys coming to terms that they are gay. Maybe I was the only one who saw that but I don't know that's what it felt like to me.

[jamie]

Midnight Movie


5/10


So this dude goes all psycho but before he did he made a movie a horror movie anyway he goes crazy and thinks he's the killer in his movie. So the retards at the psych ward show him his video and he disappears into the movie and like kills everybody in the psych ward.

So fast forward 5 years or whatever and somehow the movie escaped the nut house and for some reason the police didn't confiscate it so yay a movie theatre is going to show it.

The theatre is run down and there are only 8 people in the theatre watching movies. So the movie starts and the killings start pretty much right away. 3 non main characters die within like 10 minutes.

So the movie goes along and after the 3rd death they figure out what's going on and try and stop it. They don't and pretty much all of them die. It was allright the killer was kinda stupid and used like a cork screw like device to kill everybody.

[jamie]

Stardust 6/10


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0486655/




I think the movie is a kids movie anyway it's about this dude who crosses a wall and bangs this hot princess 9 months later a baby is delivered to the dude. And years later the baby turns into a awkward man trying to get this other hot chick well she's not a nice person anyway she does agree to go with him for like a champagne picnic and as she was about to leave a falling star comes down and he promises it to her if she marries him after he retrieves it.

She said he has a week and if he doesn't return she's going to marry this other dude so he sets off gets passed the guard and like transports to where the star hit. Well the star is like this other hot chick and he decides he's going to take her back to the other chick. They get chased by princes who are trying to get the jewel around her neck so they can become king. And also by witches who want her heart so they can be young. Anyway they end up falling for each other and it turns out he was also a prince so he gets the throne and they live forever as a star lost her heart to him.


Robert Deniro has a funny role as a crossdressing pirate caption. Just funny to see. The movie was pretty decent I'd watch it agian.

[jamie]

Incubus 3/10



This movie is stupid and has a ton of plot holes. It's about these kids who get in a wreck and stumble upon a installation with this dude who is in there. Anyway they have climbing gear and what not so they climb down into the installation as the door is locked.

So they find 2 bodies and they derive they killed themselves. Anyway soon their batteries in the flashlights die. Hmm climbing gear yet no extra batteries. So anyway they figure out the dude in the container like his soul took over peoples bodies when they fell asleep. So instead of just killing the dude they play a game they make one of the chicks go to sleep and they tie her up and put a gag in her mouth. well she wakes up all scared and stuff and her boyfriend being the genius he is undoes her gag and she tried to kill them.


What a smart individual if by smart I meant stupid :rolleyes5:

So they have to kill the chick which doesn't make sense as she's tied up anyway they finally decide to finally kill the dude and instead of like taking a screw driver or shovel to the dude they just pull his wires.

And now I guess the dude is alive again somehow who knows and just killed off the boyfriend. So now there is only a chick left. This movie pisses me off

[jamie]

Pumpkinhead 5/10




This movie was kinda slow but watchable. Starts out with like 6 teenagers going camping or motorcyle riding or some crap like that. Anyway they end up killing a kid which makes the dad a sad panda. The badass of the group which you can tell that's what he is as he is on parole won't let the other people call an ambulance. Anyway one of them escapes and shows the dad and the dad like I said becomes a sad panda and goes to a witch.


The with tells him she can't help him and when he persists she finally agrees. So he has to go to this cemetary and dig up this body f a thing that was human I guess but died in shame. anyway he digs it up bring it back to the witch and she does her ritual and the thing comes alive and starts killing mofos. Well he gets 4/7 1 person joined up for some odd reason. And what finally happens is that the dude who had the monster summoned basically had to kill himself to kill the monster.


It actually wasn't gory and no bewbs so yeah it was like a kiddy horror movie.

[jamie]

One Eyed Monster 6/10




this movie was pretty funny. It's about a porn movie shoot who goes up to the mountains to shoot a porn movie anyway it does star ron jeremy and it's about his penis mainly. So it starts out where Ron and this old pornstar chick start doing their scene and he has to stop and get some air. While out there this bright white light hits him and it takes over his penis. Well Ron goes back in to shoot his scene and they start out and it's fine then it gets worse he basically tears the chick apart and they have to like put 4 tampons in her to stop the bleeding.


Anyway Ron's penis detaches itself from him and goes on a rampage the next death is this chick deep throats the penis and she dies. It just goes from there it finally ends up where the old porn star chick she traps the penis in her by kaigling it (not sure if that's spelled right) anyway the jizz inside the penis builds up and it explodes and they both die.


There was only one nudity scene though which is kinda unusual but whatever it was actually pretty clean other than seeing a penis a few times and bewbs. If anything the movie is interesting

[Arrow]

"It's got a name: Ron."

Hahahaha.

[jamie]

Hellraiser 5/10



It's really dated. Pretty cool movie kinda the dude with no skin moving was disgusting. the evil dudes actually did look pretty good like make up wise which was awesome.

So what happens is that the brother actually dies by solving the cube and they come kill him and somehow his body gets underneath the floor boards. Well the husband cuts himself on a nail and like bleeds all over the place and like his brother reanimates but needs more blood to like heal or whatever. So the wife brings the brother people so he can like suck the blood out of the daughter finds out and it all goes to hell from there.

The evil dudes come back and the daughter makes a deal which she keeps but they break anyway the brother steals his brothers skin and like walks around in it. Anyway the evil dudes catch him and kill him again and then tries to go after the daughter and she like solves the cube thingy and they all get sucked back into their world.

[jamie]

Hellraiser 2 5/10



This one starts off the day after the first movie ends. Basically the wife dies in the first one and some dude bleeds on a bed and she gets reanimated. I guess the doctor is like totally interested in the evil dudes and wants to like see them. So the doctor gets some loonies and the chick heals and gets her skin back. But it's nasty like looking at her as she had no skin and she was like all kissing on him.


So the doctor gives the cube to this loony chick who likes to solve puzzles and she calls them and like the daughter, the puzzle chick and the wife and doctor all go into the evil dudes world. Anyway it ends up where the wife kills the doctor and the doctor comes back as a evil dude. The wife ends up with her skin ripped off. And the puzzle chick and daughter leave their world.

Well the regular world is now different and is like transforming so they have to go back to the other world to solve the cube. Well they get trapped in a room with the evil dudes and like try and get them to remember than they are human and they do and the doctor comes in and basiclly kills the other evil dudes (so basically pinhead is a pussy). Then blah blah blah the puzzle chick solves the puzzle and their world like collapses or something and they gotta run out into their world before the door closes. Then like at the end they show the cube but it's like covered in faces and stuff. It was weird.

[jamie]

Stepbrothers 7/10



pretty funny movie. Not a huge fan of the other brother he just kinda annoys me but it works which is all that matters. It does kinda get stupid towards the end but it's pretty funny. I can't believe they showed a ballsack that was nasty/funny

[jamie]

So Close 7/10



This was a really good movie from Asia. It stars Shu Qi (who is smoking hot) as a assassin. Her sister is her partner who is always on the computer and talking her through the building. Anyway Shu Qi meets a guy, falls in love and he asks her to get married and she wants to quit the business. Her sister doesn't want to but the problem is that she's not as good as Shu Qi. So she gets in trouble and Shu Qi can't retire just yet she has to help out her sister. The action scenes are awesome which Cory Yuen I think his name is always has awesome fighting scenes.

It does have subtitles which is kinda annoying but it's ok. It's a pretty decent movie check it out.

[jamie]

GI Joe Rise of the Cobra 6/10



Saw this a few nights ago and it was ok. I can't remember half the stuff about GI Joe as it's been awhile since I've seen the cartoon but the movie was allright. Give or take a few things here and there one of the things is that they find out where the bad guy is by telling where his shadow is and calculating it or whatever. They called it trigonomentry and I did that crappy stuff in Algebra. The other thing the 2 chase scenes went on way too long. Mainly though it was the first chase scene I actually looked at my phone and said there's still 30 more minutes of this movie left.

Going in I thought that they were going to be focusing more on the suits and they really didn't which is good. I actually though at first it was going to be like fast and the furious meaning really bad and only focusing on superhuman stuff. But it wasn't though I guess they fired their director so I am curious as to what the original cut would have been like. Cause if this was mediocre then the directors cut musta been super super bad.

[nicole]

i saw 'knowing' a week or so ago




negative 1 out of 10

[belle]

le huitieme jour. veryyy good,

[jamie]

District 9 - 5/10

It was filmed a a documentary but was actually set in 1992 or 2002 don't remember. I got bored with the movie like halfway through I kept checking my phone thinking when will this torture end. The movie was pretty slow until like the last 15 minutes of the movie where the action finally starts. Basically the weapons were cool and that was it. The movie was kinda interesting but yeah it doesn't make up for the fact that it was boring and slow.

[jamie]

Inglorious Basterds 7/10



It's about a group of basically jews who go into Nazi Occupied France and wreak havok. Brad Pitt was awesome as their leader he was white and had some Apache I think it was in him. But he was awesome in the role. The other dude that I thought was kinda awesome was the main nazi guy I can't remember his name but his nickname was the jew hunter. He was awesome because he was like trying to throw out american sayings but they were wrong you just have to see it to know what I'm talking about the last saying he said was let's play bingo or something like that but the way he said it it was really really funny.

The basterds take no prisoners and they actually sometimes do let people go but before they let them go they carve the nazi symbol into their foreheads to mark them as nazis. The movie kinda reminded me of pulp fiction like the way it was laid out. There were about 4 stories that intersected at the end.

[jamie]

Sgt Kabukiman NYPD 6/10


This would be a troma movie and it's pretty good. Basically what happens is that this NY cop goes to a kabuki show for some reason and the evil one sends his gang to kill the kabuki troup but the cop messes up their plan. The oldest member of the kabuki troup kisses the cop which sends "kabukiman"s spirit into this ny cop so he basically turns into a kabuki dude and fights crime only as a kabuki can. He also has to stop the evil one from taking over earth and the old kabuki guys granddaughter helps him train. It's pretty funny I'd recommend watching it.

[jamie]

Chocolate 8/10


Started out really slow but got better. This one is about a autistic girl who watches alot of martial arts movies and watches them so many times she can emulate them which ofcourse makes her awesome at martial arts. Anyway her mom gets sick and they can't afford the treatment but her cousin finds this black book that had what people owed her or so they thought. So they go trying to get this money to help pay for her mom's treatment and they attract the attention of the yakuza who's money it really was. Anyway the fight scenes were really really good and it was a pretty decent story.

[jamie]

Teenape Goes to Camp 2/10


So basically this is about a dude called teenape he only has a gorilla mask and hands. And he goes to camp but not really as it's a ploy to hunt him. The writing is really really bad but it's kinda funny though this is the lowest common denominator movie.

[jamie]

Toxic Avenger 2 7/10



This is actually a pretty decent series. It's about this nerdy dude who works at a gym and basically everybody is mean to him and it ends with everybody pulling a prank on him and he falls into a thing of toxic waste and it turns him into a super human freak basically. Anyway this movie starts out after the other one left off all crime is abolished and toxie and his girlfriend open up a home for blind people. Anyway a evil corporation moves in and tries to take the property and toxie kills em all so the only way to get the property is to get toxie out of the area so they tell him his dad is in Japan so toxie goes to japan and the evil corporation takes over everything and he comes back and saves the town once again.

[jamie]

Rabid Grannies 4/10



Movie is pretty old but it's about 2 old ladies who are like 90 and they invite their family to attend their birthday. The kids only go because they want to stay in their will. Anyway one of the kids that didn't show up sends this box and it turns the grannies into zombies and they go around killing everybody.

[jamie]

Toxic Avenger 3


This might be the worst one of the series. Basically Toxie goes bad for about half the movie and then goes good. He goes bad because his girlfriend is blind and the only way to get money to get her eyes fixed was for him to work for the toxic company which slowly turned him evil. The last fight lasted way too long.

[jamie]

Mulva Zombie Ass Kicker 3/10



wasn't as funny as I thought but was a ok movie. I fast forwarded through alot of it but the movie had it's moments. The house scene that's on youtube is probably the best part.

[jamie]

The Machine Girl 6/10



This chicks brother gets bullied and then they bullies kill him and his friend. So she goes for revenge along the way anyway the main kids dad cuts her arm off and she escapes and finds the brothers friends sister and her husband and they make her a machine gun arm and it's cool.

[Je L'aime]

naw.... idc how old titanic is, thats ALWAYS gonna be one of my faves no matter how many other cool new and interesting movies come out.... haha..... movies that make u cry r good every now and then.....

A Few Tear Jerker Movies!!!

Titanic
A Walk To Remember
Stepmom
The Notebook
(may be stupid bud) The Land Before Time (yes i know thats a lil kid movie, but, in the part when littlefoots mum dies is sad.... and it just gets to me)
(idk the name of it, but its a Shirley Temple movie, and she has to say this poem by the window "my daddy has to go away, but he'll be back most anyday....." and i cant remember the rest...)

[jamie]

Halloween 2 (2009) 2/10




let me say that the first one wasn't that bad but this one stunk. It was boring and I contemplated walking out on it the storyline made little sense and I couldn't really follow it.

[jamie]

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

4/10


About a mining town that is throwing their first Valentines Dance in 20 years. Basically 20 years ago some miners were working in the mine and not sure what happened but they got trapped down there and basically the town danced while the miners were trapped but they didn't know. Anyway there was 1 survivor who turned to cannibalism to survive down there. He got out killed the managers who left them down there and said if anybody else celebrates Valentines Day he will be back and start killing again. So the town decides to throw a Valentines Dance 20 years after and he's back.

Kinda of a boring story line you can tell this was filmed in the early 80's anyway this movie is kinda boring maybe the newer one would be better. Even the ending song was kinda stupid.

[jamie]

Diamond Dogs 6/10



Dolph Lundgren is awesome though I'm not sure why they called the movie Diamond dogs as there are no Diamonds and no dogs. Anyway it's about this dude with a lisp finds a map to a sacred buddhist scroll. So he hires a bunch of people but the last one is Dolph Lundgren. So they start their trip and stop at this town to get supplies and as they leave they get attacked by like 6 people and Dolph kills em all. So they get to their destination and the idiot boss gets all super excited like jojo the super exciteable circus clown and grabs the case well here comes the super slow booby trap and all but 2 people get out. Basically one of the dudes Dolph kinda pushes towards the spikes trying to get him out and he gets spiked. Then the wall comes down and Dolph somehow finds a hole in the wall and climbs out. By this time the bad guys are attacking his boss and people and he comes in and kills everybody once again.

Anyway basically everybody dies except Dolph and he gives the scroll to the monks instead of selling it.

[jamie]

Retrograde 6/10



Dolph again



Pretty cheesy the sci fi stuff is just bad. But this one is about these people that go back 200 years to stop a virus. Well there has to be bad guys in movies like this but the bad guys on this one make no sense at all cause the virus basically kills off humankind. Anyway Dolph kicks everybody's ass and does what he's supposed to do which is to blow up a meteorite field

[jamie]

Cheerleader Autopsy 4/10



Kinda stupid definately a B movie but it was ok for what it was. It's about a group of cheerleaders who are going to nationals they are from some really small town. Anyway there is a bus accident and they all die and they go to the mortuary the dude basically sells bodies for cash and the people who buy the bodies use it as dog food. Anyway the mortuary dude dies and his helper notices one of the cheerleaders still alive but he won't help her. So the janitor actually helps her and puts her back together. Yeah makes no sense but whatever it's not really supposed to.

[jamie]

Dead Like Me: Life After Death 6/10



Kinda boring I guess but it really reminded me of how the episodes flowed on the tv show before it got cancelled. So it's nice to see that after all these years that they still have that chemistry.


Nothing too special about the movie George finally told her sister who she really was which was nice. George died in the first episode of the show and the tv show revolved around her and a few other reapers. So George is dead and not supposed to have anything to do with her family she even looks different.

if you were a fan of the show this will hold you over I think it definately reminded me of the show only difference is Daisy is played by somebody else which kinda sucks but it happens

[jamie]

Direct Contact 6/10



Dolph Again




So this time he is in a bulgarian prison and some dude shows up claiming to be from the US embassy and gets him out on one condition. To rescue a chick who has been kidnapped. Well he does and it all falls apart from there turns out the chicks uncle only wanted her back to get control of her fathers company he left it to her but she didn't want it. So Dolph has to kill everybody once again and does.


Awesomest part of the movie:

The guy who recruited Dolph and Dolph get into a fight towards the end of the movie Dolph starts to win and puts him in an arm lock the guy gets scared and says he has a lot of money and Dolph says not for long and takes his last grenade shoves it down the dudes shirt and kicks him out a window where the guy explodes to basically a bloody mist

[jamie]

Bodyguard 2 8/10




This is a movie from Thailand so not to be confused with whitney houston or whatever. Anyway this movie is hilarious it's about a cop who goes over the top to get whoever he is after. His boss gets pissed off at him but a big case comes up and he knows the dude is the only person who can pull this off. So the cop has to infiltrate a recording studio so he goes to audition to become a singer/dancer and hits it big. He infiltrates the association and takes them down. Definately recommend this one

[jamie]

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland 5/10



This is the last I believe of the Sleepaway Camp movies. They are about this counselor who goes on a rampage for some reason I'm waiting for the first one. But this movie new owners take over the camp and invite priviliged and underpriviliged kids to the camp I think they are supposed to be 16 but they all looked way older than that. Anyway Angela (the killer) takes out one of the campers before she arrives to camp so Angela can take her spot and get into the camp.

Actually this is funny because Angela hijacks a garbage truck and runs the girl over and then throws her into the garbage truck. My feeling on that is there were other people on the street and I'm sure that the garbage place would be missing a garbage truck anyway so Angela takes the place of the other chick and does what she does best and kills campers.


Favorite Death:

the black dude likes to throw fire crackers anyway as he is sleeping Angela grabs a fire cracker sticks it up his nose and lights it.


0BxxGQPnL1Y

[jamie]

Sleep Away Camp 3/10

Ah wow shock ending and a weird one at that. Jeez

pretty boring this one looked like it was actually filmed with actors that are about 16 or younger. Anyway the movie is kinda dated but that's ok .First part of the movie shows what happened with Angela (killer in other movies) and what happened to her family (her dad and brother were killed) she moves in with her Aunt who takes care of her and she has a cousin also. Anyway they go to camp and she is the quiet kid so she gets picked on and her cousin always sticks up for her. Anyway "accidents" start to happen to the people who pick on her and well that's the story.


Goriest death - She locks a dude in the crapper and throws a bees nest in there. There were actually a few gory ones but this one the visuals were gory.

funniest scene - they find a dead counselor and they do a closeup of the cops face and he has a really bad fake moustache.

my opinion the movies go 3,2,1 from best to worst.


LVBEXN0eyT8

[jamie]

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers 3/10



Angela is back again this time with a sex change. She was let go from the mental hospital where they did basically everything to her even giving her a sex change. So a new camp opens like 40 miles away from the old camp where Angela and they hire her as a new camp counselor. Most of the girls hate her especially the popular girls. And she takes care of the girls 1 at a time and ends up killing everybody.


I think this was a transition movie the first one was serious and the third one was funny. This one still is kinda serious but turns funny towards the end of the movie.


Funniest Death Scene: Angela gets one of the girls up to a old abandoned cabin and stuffs her in the outhouse and drowns her in the hole.


aj477ynzRJ0

[jamie]

Police Story 8/10



This is a Jackie Chan movie it's really action packed and has a few comedy bits in it. Jackie plays a new recruit and on his first assignment somebody gets seen and the bad guys all make a run for it. Jackie catches the boss and 3 of his bodyguards and his secretary. The secretary is tricked into being a witness and Jackie has to protect her even though she doesn't want to say anything . Anyway the boss goes after her to kill her and Jackie well she escapes to go back to the boss. The trial happened but they had no witness and the boss gets off after the trial he uses the secretary in a trap to lure Jackie and to kill him.

Well a bad police officer is in on this and after he out lives his usefulness to the boss the bad guys kill him with Jackie's gun. The secretary gets away but Jackie gets knocked out and dumped and is on the lam cause everybody thinks he killed the other cop. Well Jackie makes his escape from police custody to get the boss and he does find him and beats him up pretty good.


The whole movie is pretty awesome and old school Chan which is always good.


DvWNIIEovvU

[jamie]

Kill Zone 4/10




Not enough action the movie was too serious for what it was. The fight scenes atleast most were pretty cool there just wasn't enough of them. The story is about this cop who is supposed to protect a witness from the evil boss dude anyway the boss dude gets to him as they are in a van and about to go and testify and everybody dies except his little girl and the cop.

The cop adopts the girl but makes it his life goal to go after that boss. Which he does and when the final fight happens he basically lasts 2 seconds until his partner arrives. His partner beats up the boss dude but doesn't kill him and while he is distracted the boss dude throws him out a window where the boss's family is waiting in a car and he falls out the window crushes the car and killing his family. The other cop had brain cancer and died too. The boss not sure what happened to him. Just a downer all around basically everybody dies.

[jamie]

Avenging fist 5/10



it's a chinese movie it's like a post apocolyptic, futiristic, technological love story


anyway it's about 5 people a mom 2 of her kids, her nephew and a friend of theirs anyway her kids and I believe nephew has this amazing gift she taught them this martial arts style that is incredible it taps into a unused portion of your brain and makes you like a god. Anyway ofcourse there is a evil guy in all of this and he has the power too. What happened was there was a experiment in which I believe 3 gloves were made that tapped into this power and the gloves changed the people. The people who were recruited to try them out were the kids father, the evil dude, and a police comissioner. It turns out their father was brainwashed and is now the evil dudes minion anyway they find out about his son and blah blah blah fight to the death the son and friend win because they are fighting for people they love.

Ok movie but it looked kinda weird.

[jamie]

ZombieLand 8/10



Awesome movie wish there was more zombie killing but it was really good and funny. Go see it this you will enjoy it.

[jamie]

Police Story 2 6/10





Jackie Chan movie


This one wasn't as good as the first one but it was still good. It was more serious and it was geared towards more acting that action though there is still a good amount of action in the movie. I'd recommend the first 3 police stories. Jackie Chan is back as ka kui a police officer that gets too crazy while going after bad guys. If he's on your trail he will destroy anything to get you. This dude keeps harassing Jackie and his girlfriend ofcourse Jackie beats them all up and gets in trouble for it. So he quits and on his way to Mali for a vacation the police need him back because he is the only person able to crack a new case.

So he reluctantly comes back and gets into more trouble and so does his girlfriend he gets mixed up in a ransom demand and he gets kidnapped along with his girlfriend and he has to get the gangs ransom or his girlfriend dies. They strap Jackie into a bomb vest just to make sure he complies so Jackie complies but tricks them he drives into a tunnell and gets out of the vest and then goes to get his girlfriend he saves her and blows up the gangs hideout while I actually think they are inside.

[jamie]

Yo-Yo Girl Cop 5/10



It was allright but nothing to really put it over the top. The movie is about a girl who goes back to Japan her mom got arrested in the U.S. and is awaiting trial apparently her boyfriend was a spy and they didn't really get into it so I'm not sure what she did. But her daughter goes into japan on a expired Visa and the cops bring her in to deport her. Well this other cop has other ideas (the cop is actually her father but the girl doesn't know it) and he recruits her to find out who and why high school students are blowing up. So she does it to get her mother out of the trouble she's in and investigates. It kinda has a love story in there and the story line is pretty decent and the action is ok but it just didn't have any oomph for me.

[jamie]

I know Nicole has been waiting for this one :smilewinkgrin:



Fubar the movie 8/10





for a low budget movie it was actually pretty good and funny. It's about these two dudes who are I guess head bangers but it's about them getting drunk and partying all the time though there is another story in there too one of the guys has testicle cancer and alot of the story is about him accepting it and making sure he has surgery to get rid of it and doing chemo and stuff so it's like a serious comedy. Oh everybody in the film is Canadian.

I'd recommend watching it there are a few good lines in there that are pretty quotable in real life.

[nicole]

giver

[jamie]

giver

yo yo's funkin suck

[AnyB0dy K1lla]

Pineapple Express (9.5/10) that's just my opinion on it I'm sure some people don't like it but its pretty funny. :frankie:

[jamie]

Ong Bak 2 4/10




I think Tony Jaa bought into his own hype this movie was bad with just enough fighting in it to keep it interesting. I'm not even sure what the story line is as they would do the story then have a flash back and then go back to the story I didn't really follow it that much.



The ending was utter BS oh wow did that movie suck hardcore.

[jamie]

Operation Scorpio 6/10




Awesome awesome movie the fighting scenes were awesome. This story is about a kid who is in high school I think (he was older though) anyway he spent all his time in class drawing superheroes. These bullies come in to beat him and his friend up but they get away. Anyway on his way home he meets this maid which he comes to find out is really a slave the head of the police is very corrupted and is into the slave trade and other nasty things. He overhears that one of the police dudes accomplises wants to basically rape her and he tries to get her out she falls into a lake and he gets beat up but she does get away.

But he actually as he and his father are running away from the bad guys hit up this gym the owner is named little john the dude picks up a freaking car he's so strong and he can hit with like 1000 pounds of pressure or something like that. Anyway they can't go home so a restaurant owner takes them in and hides them. As the boy was supposed to be doing chores he kinda snuck out leaving them to the girl he saved. He goes back to the gym and wants to learn there is a fee and he promises to work it off. Well he gets caught and is basically grounded for a month and the dude who took them in teaches him how to clean the wok and also cook a little bit. Well that trains him to become stronger so after a month he goes back to the gym and trains he finally pays off the dude and gets full membership.

Ofcourse he trains and then the dude who took him in offers to train him in noodle kung fu I beleive he called it and so the dude learned that but he also made his own kung fu up called eel kung fu. The police dude finally finds his escaped slave and retakes her and also a few more girls and the dude decides he is going to save her but first the dude who took him in has a surprise he's some kind of master kung fu dude and him and little john are going to team up and kick some ass. Well it turns out the rapist dudes son is a pretty good martial artist too (he's awesome he's really flexible and acrobatic) anyway the kung fu master and him fight to pretty much a duel but the kung fu master gets shot not dead though so it's time for the boy to step in and at first gets his ass kicked but starts to win this is actually the first time he pulls out his eel kung fu which is pretty funny. Basically the other dude has a bunch of different kung fu's too one of which is the scorpion but apparently a scorpion cannot defeat an Eel and the boy wins.

It's an older movie but it's awesome.

[jamie]

Onechanbara Bikini Samurai Squad 5/10


It wasn't too bad but it was missing one important part which was that there were only 2 bikini scenes.


Anyway the story starts out with a doctor basically finds a way to make zombies well if you get bit by one you turn into a zombie so it spread all throughout the world. Anyway it was up to the chick to eradicate all the zombies but she was driven by revenge cause her sister killed their father. Anyway it's her another girl (no bikini) and a fat dude who is like the comic relief. They all want to get to the doctor that made the zombies and kill him. They finally make it though I'm not sure how they found him and the fat dude kills him while the doctor is being eaten by a zombie. The bikini and other chick fight off like millions of zombies and one does fall and it pisses bikini girl off and she like wipes all the zombies out with a special sword move. Well after that happens she meets her sister out in a field and they duel.

Wasn't too bad of a movie about average for a B movie they basically told the story so that they didn't have to later so they could show more zombie killings.

[jamie]

Zombie Strippers 3/10




It starts out with a newcast that was bashing bush and then they said something about global warming. Anyway it cuts to a team that was hired to go to this lab and basically a virus was released and turned people into zombies. Well they kill all the zombies but one who was a member of their team I believe his name was byrdflough (bird flu) anyway he escapes undetected and ends up in a strip club so he stays for a few hours and I guess finally turns into a zombie and attacks one of the strippers and she dies and turns into a zombie.

Well apparently turning into a zombie made her a better stripper (she was already the headliner) and some of the other girls asked her to turn them into zombies and the club turned into like the best hotspot ever anyway after the shows the zombie strippers would take guys in the back the first zombie girl took a dude and she like started sucking his popsicle and he said something about her tongue being dry and she goes let me wet it and she bites hit penis off and it shows her chewing it it was nasty and I personally had to hold my junk cause that scene made it hurt bad.

Anyway it all goes good until one of the girls gets turned and she lets out the other zombies the owner stupidly put into a jail underneath his business. They all get out and start eating people. so the owner,dj,janitor, 2 strippers and the owners like main chick were in his office hiding out and they finally decide to get guns and try and kill zombies and that doesn't happen as I guess they have never seen a zombie movie ever in their life. As this was going on another scene were the main stripper and another stripper were fighting I only mention this as this was probably the funniest scene in the whole movie.

the main stripper she is losing and gets thrown on the ground well she gets some ping pong balls shoves them inside of her and starts a poppin she misses the other stripper though so she gets pool balls shoves them inside of her and pops them out well she misses every time but once and the other girl like has a baseball bat and hits it back into her and she like absorbs the energy or whatever and then she shoots it back out hitting the other girl in the stomache.

anyway the ending comes where the military team comes in and kills everybody apparently there could be no witnesses and one of the members was trying to fight it but gave up really really easily not sure why. The writing was bad so that's probably why. There was lots of nudity and that's about the only reason to watch the movie. Though one of the strippers does kinda look like marilyn manson and that's creepy. Overall it was ok and wasn't that bad I only kinda ignored the movie a few times and I fast forwarded through alot of the stripping scenes. I do have to say Jenna Jameson still has a pretty hot body.

[jamie]

Yo Yo Sexy Girl Cop 2/10



This was like a movie that was filmed around school girl panties. The japanese have some kinda weird fascination with them and the movie definately showed that. This must have been a pretty low budget movie cause the first one had CGI this one did not it had like cut aways of yo-yo's. The story is pretty choppy but basically the yo you girl is now known as agent invisible panties which she has to wear cause her boss likes them or something. Anyway she goes into a school to get inside a prostitution ring. I'd call this a nudie movie but not soft porn cause there wasn't enough sex but a good amount of nudity.

Anyway skip this one the first movie was better which doesn't say much.

[nicole]

*orders off of amazon*

[jamie]

*orders off of amazon*



don't it's gonna porn up your machine.

[jamie]

Bodyguard a new beginning 1/10





this movie was bad the second one I atleast laughed my ass off at it. This one was serious and no funny moments and I still have no idea why this was rated R. Anyway it sucked and I basically fast forwarded 70% or 80% of the movie.

[jamie]

The Tiger Blade 8/10


story line was definately secondary and I think it was about a special agent who worked for the government and the police or something and they were trying to find out who was corrupt on the police force. Anyway lots of action and it was good action. The story line sucked but it was good enough cause of the action. The bad guys or atleast a few of them were like bullet proof and the special agent had to find this sword that killed them.

Anyway the other part of the story line was that this commander from another country was busted out of prison and I'm not entirely sure why but him and the special agent join forces and yeah like I said the story line was definately secondary but I would recommend watching the movie cause it is awesome.

[jamie]

Born to Fight 4/10



Basically this cop arrests a general in thailand and then for some reason decides to go with his sister to a international sports tournament. The village gets attacked by the generals second in command and after a day or so the villagers decide to fight back.


It was just kinda sucky and it was kind of a thai propoganda movie cause before the fight I guess thailand plays the national anthem ever morning (not sure if that is true) and it started to play and the people started to sing along with it and decided to fight back.

Pretty fair amount of action and kinda cool action and a few pretty cool stunts but it was too sad but I think that is true for most if not all thai movies like they don't like to go home without feeling sad or something. Anyway skip this one.

[jamie]

The Men Who Stare at Goats 7/10



pretty entertaining the trailers though in front of the movie were horrid like I almost walked out just so I didn't have to watch the horridness of the trailers. But I endured and the movie was pretty funny. It starts out with a dude looking into the camera and I guess meditating or something and he goes Bruce (don't remember the dudes name) I'm going into the other office and he stands up starts to run and hits the wall.

The movie is kinda about the hippy movement with some conspiracy stuff thrown in namely mkultra and a few other things. There were a few things I was surprised they hadn't censored one was they showed a dude freaking out and shooting up a military installation and then killing himself and then the other thing was they were driving and got hit with a roadside bomb.

Otherwise it was pretty funny and I won't say star star studded but there are a few faces you will recognize. But go and see it it's pretty funny.

[nicole]

who watches this stufF???? OMG!!!!!

[jamie]

who watches this stufF???? OMG!!!!!


people who love people?

[jamie]

Hell Comes to Frogtown - 6/10



Eh it was pretty bad and really cheesy. Basically I think 2 nukes were dropped and the US and some other place were nuked. Anyway there are only a few fertile people in the world and to start the war again they need all the fertile people they can get ahold of. So in comes Sam Hell (Rowdy Roddy Piper) who is like the most fertile male ever the government basically kidnaps him and sends him out with 2 girls to get some fertile females so he can impregnate them anyway the girls are being held hostage by lizard people. So him and the girls have to go in to save the kidnapped girls so he can impregnate them. Yeah don't ask me I thought it would have a few funnier lines and stuff and it really didn't

[jamie]

SARS WARS - Bangkok Zombie Crisis




4/10


It was pretty weird. It starts out with this girl getting picked up from school by her 2 body guards anyway it shows this hot girl in a bikini on the side of the road dancing. And the bodyguards turn their head and a dude in a animal costume runs out in front of them and they hit him. They thought it was a real animal for some reason and got out. Well it turns out it was a kidnapping plot and the hot chick was really a guy.

So anyway the zombies come in cause of a fly in Africa came over and like I don't know but turned people into zombies. So blah blah blah the chicks dad hired a dude to go in and get his daughter. He falls in love with the girl so it's really like a zombie love story kinda. They do get out but I think everything else blows up. It also turns out that the main bad guy wants to be a girl and the kidnapped girl somehow flys out a window and the dude takes her place and has sex with the hero of the story. But the kidnapped girl is actually alive.


Favorite part of the movie: The main bad guys brother tells the guy he's going to get a spoon and eat his balls. And his brother goes you have a gun why do you need a spoon?.

The other part was they were in a elevator and it dies. And the main bad guy yells I'm going to kill you elevator and he shoots everybody ducks but the big dude and one of the guys says jeez your so big you didn't even care he shot a gun. And blood starts flying out of the big dude and he dies.


Parts I hated: I've seen two thailand movies and they seem to be propoganda films. Like the first one I saw they started to sing the thai national anthem and then fought. this one somebody was doing drugs and the hero says drugs and drinking are bad because it ruins your life and your country or something like that.

[jamie]

The Thing 7/10



This movie freaked me out cause there were like these worm things that shot out a few times and they just freaked me out. The other thing was that the infected people turned into spiders gives me shivers just thinking about it.

I'm not sure where they are located but it's somewhere cold and they are scientists it's mostly a psychological thing just cause nobody knows who is infected. Anyway they go around getting more and more paranoid and then they find the lead alien and blow the shit out of him.

Tons of fire too so that's good. Anyway it was a ok movie it freaked me out and nixxi had to hold me all night cause I had bad dreams.

[jamie]

Escape from New York 8/10



I actually really liked this one. It's definately dated but it had some good cheesy action. It's about this dude Snake not sure why he is named that but he has the worst tattoo of a snake on his stomache ever it's like just drawn there with permanent marker it's pretty funny. Anyway for some reason he gets tagged to go rescue the president who was shot down over NY it's a prison I guess not sure why though but the president gets caught and gets held hostage and they send snake in there to get it. Well he gets double crossed and gets caught but then the people who double crossed him help him and they get out of NY. Funniest moment is when the president grabs a machine gun and guns down the main bad guy. Anyway see it it's cool.

[jamie]

The Wrestler 5/10



I don't get how this movie was that acclaimed. It really had no story line and when it tried to follow one something bad happened. It's like a real life kinda thing I guess. then there was no ending which I mean get off your asses and make the movie 30 seconds longer jesus.

[jamie]

Death Warrant 6/10



Jean Claude Van Damme plays a cop from Canada who's partner gets killed by a dude named the sandman anyway JCVD goes after the dude and shoots him like 8 times yet he doesn't die. Anyway for whatever reason JCVD gets put undercover in a jail to find out why prisoners are dying. It doesn't go well and he makes enemies of about everybody. Anyway after awhile the sandman makes his appearance again as he gets transferred into the prison. Well it gets really bad cause like the people who sent him into the prison are into like organ running they take organs out of prisoners and sell them. Anyway most of JCVD's allies die except 2 I think who help him and blah blah blah a fight between JCVD and the sandman starts and the sandman is a tough bastard because the guy gets thrown into a furnace for about 20 seconds yet he gets out and is find except horribly scarred and then he gets a screw or whatever into the back of the head and is still alive until JCVD like pulls his head and he dies which ends the hostilities towards JCVD. Anyway action scenes were cool just needed a bit more in the story department.

[jamie]

Ninja Assassin 7/10



Pretty cool movie I didn't like that they used CGI but it wasn't too bad or atleast there were maybe 2 or 3 scenes where I noticed it. The movie is about this kid who was stolen from his family and made to train to be an assassin. Well he meets a girl in the camp and she tries to leave well the ninjas get her back and kill her which leads to this dude going out on his own and fighting his former clan mates. For some reason this police chick gets involved and figures out ninjas are still being used to assassinate people (why that matters Iontknow) anyway she figres out pretty much everything which puts her and her partner in danger the ninjas try to kill the girl and the ninja dude kills the ninjas and the chase is on. Well it appears the police dude is like part of this secret police force or something anyway they catch the good ninja and then their base gets penetrated by ninjas. The chick gets to the good ninja and lets him go and ninja killing ensues. Lots and lots of ninja killing.


The good ninja is injured and is resting up healing and the chick for some reason leaves him alone but puts a transmitter inside of him anyway the bad ninjas take him back to the base and as they are about to kill him the military shows up and obliterates all the ninjas except the ninja and a few bad ones. He kills the mini boss then he goes after the head guy who he called father anyway the father starts to become a pussy and starts to like disappear though the dude is winning the fight. Anyway the father puts a sword through the chick and this gets the ninja dude all amped up and he like does the disappearing trick and ends up killing his father and the military took care of the rest of the ninjas.

It was a ok movie probably coulda netflixed it but whatever.

[jamie]

Taken 9/10




It was really awesome it started out pretty slow but picked up pretty fast. This dudes 17 year old daughter and her 19 year old friend go to france and get kidnapped to be sold as whatever. Anyway her dad is like this bad ass spy or something but he tells the guy flat out let his daughter go or he's dead. Well it took about 20 hours to find the dude and he kills him he electrocutes him after torturing him that was aweomse. he killed a ton of Albanians which was cool then the Albanians led him to the Arabs cause the sheik wanted women for his harem there was no back and forth or anything he didn't care which makes him awesome cause he killed everybody pretty much. One of his buddies was jerking him off and he knew more than what he was saying so he shot the dudes wife he didn't kill her but grazed her anyway he got the info he needed from him then went to the party infiltrated it and found out who he needed to he made the dude bid on his daughter and they won. He gets KO'd and as they are about to kill him he breaks a pipe and kills the 4 people who are in the room.

Then he chases the dude who bid on his daughter he follows him to a ship and gets on and starts killing people again well he kills everybody and then he finally kills the dude who bid on his daughter well the sheik has a knife to his dauthers throat the sheik hesitates for one second saying they could negotiate and as he said that he got a bullet in the eye. Badass the sheik dropped like a bag of potatoes and he gets his daughter back.

[jamie]

Boondock Saints 2 7/10



This takes place 10 years after the first movie. I'm not a huge fan of the first movie it has it's cool moments but just never got to me. This one talked about Boston like every chance it got but there were funny moments. I really didn't want to see guys asses and I saw way too many in this movie. It had alot of action and the mexican dude brought in more comedy. This one is about some priest (could be from the first movie not sure) but he gets whacked so the saints come back from Ireland to find out who did it.

[nicole]

oh look at u---givin out a 7...like..hell froze over???

[jamie]

haha hey I'm just honest. I couldn't give it a higher score there were way too many guys ass shots in the movie.

[jamie]

Sixty Nine - 0/10




Yeah a 0 this movie was awful it was like seinfeld withoutthe comedy nothing happened.


Ok so this chick gets fired from work along with 2 other chicks anyway I don't know exactly what happened but like it showed her drinking like cleaning products and then shooting herself in the head. But somehow she woke up or something anyway she finds this box outside her door it was delivered the the wrong door anyway she takes it and 2 dudes knock on her door and ask if she got a package she says no and about 3 minutes later they come back hit her and like break in to find the money.

Well one dude is taking a whizz and the other dude fins the money but gets a vase to the back of the head once the peeing dude finds out he starts to choke her and she stabs him so now she's got two dead bodies in her apartment. Instead of calling the police she hides them well like everybody around her keeps dying and it's just weird anyway she keeps hiding the bodies

anyway it ends up that the chinese mafia and a local crime boss are like getting edgy cause each one thought they took it so they end up in her room and the phone rings and the gangs and the police shoot each other so everybody is dead. Well she takes the money and instead of using it she tosses it into the lake and then she actually bought a passport but she burned that too and just drove.

Umm yeah I was hoping for something exciting to happen and it never did hell if there was a nudie scene I woulda given it a 1 but yeah nothing happened worst movie ever. There's not even any redeeming qualities to take away from this movie it was that brutal.

[jamie]

This is Spinal Tap 10/10



not what I expected but there were a few parts that was really really funny. I actually watched it twice the first time normally and the second time was with the actors talking about the movie. I rarely ever do that I think maybe this is the 5th or 6th time I've done it.

[jamie]

Avatar 7/10



It was a ok movie but I think they stretched the movie out way too long. They also tried to get political and tried to take on a bunch of other issues not like head on more like it was mentioned (global warming, and then how the USA was bad).

Though the blue alien chick was pretty hot and I'd totally bang her she was modeled after the black chick was was in star wars and I'm not into black chicks at all but she's pretty hot.

Anyway watch it don't watch it I don't care.

[jamie]

Friday the 13th (2009) 4/10


I've actually seen all of the movies which is kinda weird for me because there's not a whole lot of movies like a series where I've seen them all. Anyway this movie sucked first it was the dick guy who was obviously rich and wouldn't let anybody like do anything at all. When you see that you gotta question why are these guys his friends and then why is one of the girls like banging him anyway he was a dick throughout the movie and I was happy when he died though wish it was more gruesome.

Ok so this movie is actually like 2 movies well actually 3. We get one of the counselors killed the mother (who was the killer in the first one) and she told Jason to kill everybody. Anyway fast forward and now these 5 people are looking for weed or something that is growing around the camp. Well They all get killed but one person a girl why Jason takes her and keeps her prisoner I'm not entirely sure I have an idea but it's kinda stupid. Anyway her brother comes looking for her and this is when the dick and his friends also show up. Well one of the girls goes with him I actually think it's the dicks girlfriend I'm honestly not sure cause he was banging some other chick so that made no sense to me.

Anyway they come upon Jasons hideout or base of operations or whatever you want to call it. Anyway they get seen and make a B line to the dick's parents cabin anyway they get followed and he kills 2 people in the cabin cause he somehow squeezed himself like a cat through a window. Anyway the police show up and he kills the officer and so the 3 remaining people run outside to get away and this is when the dick gets killed. Ok so the next two for some reason think it's a good idea to go to jasons base of operations well the dude hears his sister and gets her and gets her out of the dungeon. So as they are getting out through a tunnell the other chick dies so now it's the brother and sister left. Well they run and he gets caught and gets his head rammed through some glass which doesn't kill him. Anyway they get away to a barn and a woodchipper and the scene that really pisses me off.

Well they fight and blah blah blah a woodchipper comes into play and jasons head well atleast the top of the head goes in but it only chops the top of his head he would not go further into the chipper (he's not fighting it, so I'm sure there will be sequels) anyway since the wood chipper didn't do it's job for some magical reason I'm sure (sequel magic) they end up throwing his body into the lake which I know that if I just killed some supernatural character I'd throw him into a lake cause you know that's the smart thing to do. Anyway he comes back and grabs the girl and the movie ends. :idea:


There were well other than the ending one other part that pissed me off. Apparently Jason had trophies (hockey and archery) the hockey one didn't come into play but the archery one did and he pretty much hit some guy with a arrow about 500 feet away maybe and in a boat so it was moving. Anyway in all the movies I've seen I don't remember him ever using a bow and arrow he used other sharp instruments but I don't think he's ever used a bow and arrow. Anyway this movie was bad though still better than Jason Returns I believe the name of it was.

[jamie]

Bikini Bloodbath Carwash 5/10


not too bad this is the second of the series of movies that I guess are three. Anyway I don't even know what the story line is I just know that everybody goes to school then work and then they do a seance and conjur up this french chef that was in the first movie and it starts to kill people. Anyway there is like a big party at the boss's house and they all go and the french chef pretty much kills everybody but 2 people.

It was a ok movie I didn't think it was bad or anything but it was like a nothing happens movie until the end.

[jamie]

Sherlock Holmes 7/10



pretty awesome movie. It started out pretty action packed mellowed out a bit and then the back part of the movie was kinda boring but it was a solid movie.

Starts out with Holmes infiltrating a warehouse or something to stop a ritual. He does the dude goes to jail and then gets hung. Everybody thinks the dude has come back from the dead and freak out. Anyway it's up to Holmes and Watson to find out what what really happened. Some of the funniest parts are between Holmes and Watson because they are like a couple anyway good movie and I recommend watching it.

[jamie]

Tricky Master - 4/10



It was a ok movie it was like a movie spoof though and had ad placements and stuff which got kind of annoying pretty fast but it did have alot of funny moments and a few gross out ones. The girlfriends name is pizza so can't go too wrong with that. The movie is about a cop who I think is supposed to be clumsy anyway he was given a big case and if he solves it he gets promoted anyway he gets caught and basically gets thrown out of that gang. Anyway he wants revenge and asks his girlfriends uncle to help him cause the uncle is some kind of mastermind scam artist well I should say he wasn't too much of a scammer more like really really lucky. Anyway the uncle decides to do his own thing and gets revenge and it ends up where the uncle gets into a poker game but gets captured and so the cop has to take his place. Anyway the uncle escapes and the cop wins the poker game in a pretty cool way. he taped a bunch of pieces of cards on his fingertips and the dude was cheating and though the dude had a king but really had a an ace and that's how he won.

It was a ok movie but it didn't have english dubbing which sucked and had a pretty bad subtitle menu.

[nicole]

Sixty Nine - 0/10.


bahaha - why do u waste yer money on b movies when u know theyre gonna suck ass??


theyre called b movies for a reason!! omg james!!! lol

[jamie]

bahaha - why do u waste yer money on b movies when u know theyre gonna suck ass??


theyre called b movies for a reason!! omg james!!! lol


haha but some of em are cool but I got netflix so I'm only wasting time.

[jamie]

Bikini Bloodbath 5/10


this one is they are seniors in high school anyway for whatever reason a killer shows up and starts slowly offing people. Anyway one of the girls throw a sleepover and actually a group of guys also throw a sleep over but it's less tramatic if I just talk about the girls sleep over. It's alot easier on the eyes watching chicks play twister that watching a bunch of guys. Anyway the killer finds their house and starts knocking off people I think 2 people survived. There were no funny death scenes they were all pretty stupid. It was ok I think the second one is better though.

[nicole]

lezzy midgets from cancun


0/10

not enuff ass

[jamie]

lezzy midgets from cancun


0/10

not enuff ass



haha, so what was it about?

[jamie]

Wesleys Mysterious Files 4/10



Not a bad movie but it was full of Engrish which made it hard to understand but kinda funny. Anyway the movie is about this dude named Wesley and he has been interested in aliens his whole life and he worked I think for a secret governemnt thingy and it was about contacting and/or eradicating alien life forms. Anyway he meets a alien (there are good and bad aliens) and falls for her and she falls for him.

Anyway evil gang comes to town the one that basically took over her planet and they have to get rid of them with a bible. Not sure why they wouldn't get rid of them after their first meeting cause she had it with her anyway evil american captures her and him and they gotta break out of the secret facility. So they do and end up at his place and do the deed well not really cause she doesn't have the right parts so like she makes this blue shield or something and they mentally have sex or I don't even know but it was weird and watching their faces made it even weirder.

Anyway the alien chicks brother comes and he is trying to work with that evil gang cause they want planet earth and if they got earth they would give back their home planet. Anyway the bad aliens kill the brother wesley ends up finding the girl in time and killing one of the aliens just a bit too easily really. Then the other bad alien starts to give chase and turns into worms and go into this dudes body well the good chick alien also goes into the dudes body and they kinda fight but he ends up blocking the path of the bad alien and the alien ends up being thrown up on the ground and turns into like mothra or something and they eradicate the bad alien with the ring bible and she goes back to her homeplanet and he stays on earth with another girl.

Ending was kinda stupid but it was ok but just nothing really happened and it actually took me like 3 or 4 hours to watch this movie cause I had to pause and take a walk so I wouldn't fall asleep.

[jamie]

Curse of Pirate Death 5/10



wasn't that bad of a movie one scene should have been cut. The teacher got one of her students and the student was on a desk topless and the teacher was tickling her with a feather and then spanked her with a hair brush. Anyway this one is about a cursed pirate treasure if you pick up a piece of his treasure pirate death comes after you and kills you.

Acting was bad but I mean the movie was filmed on like a camera you buy at best buy or whatever but it was a fun movie and could have been better if they had a little bit better of a story but I'd watch it again.

[jamie]

Tyson 7/10



This is an autobiography I guess of Mike Tyson. It was interesting seeing him candid like this and he actually seems like a good guy. I know that he has come across as crazy at times but I could actually kinda see why he did the things he did (mainly the biting thing). Holyfield has a problem with his head and has a reputation for headbutting people which made Tyson snap because that's not how boxing is supposed to be but Holyfield does that all the time.

Only thing that made me kind of uncomfortable was him talking about sex he isn't normal that way and I can't even explain it. I also loves how he used skullduggery that word is awesome. I'd watch the movie if you want to understand Mike a little more it definately changed my view on him.

[jamie]

Chai Lai Angels: Dangerous Flowers 4/10


Was an ok movie a few hot asian chicks thrown in which was awesome. Basically charlie angels but there are 4 or 5 of them and they have to do jobs for their boss. The main job was protecting a kid and they failed but the second part of the job was finding this pearl that the girl was kidnapped for. Lots of action so that was cool. I'd recommend this movie it was pretty good.

[jamie]

Watchmen 3/10


this movie sucked it didn't know what it was. It was like a bunch of movies all bunched up then the way the villain (if you can call him that) went about his plans they conveniently blocked the blue dudes esp or whatever got blocked even though the dude can do anything he wants. That really pissed me off I mean how are you going to block the all seeing dudes powers basically. Blah anyway it didn't know what kind of movie it wanted to be and then the heroes weren't really heroes they were almost anti heroes so blah on the movie. Then they kill off the cool hero rorschach because he was going to tell the world who really destroyed it.



Don't recomment this one at all.

[jamie]

The Specialist 6/10



Dolph Lundgren movie it was ok but it was just kind of a nothing movie. Basically what happens is Dolphs family dies by the hand of some gangsters and Dolph goes after them he kills all but 1 guy he shoots him in the face but he doesn't die. Anyway he finds out that the dude is still alive and goes to find him and a kidnapped girl that they put into slavery basically. Anyway Dolph infiltrates the place and kills the dude which the dude died a very gruesome death lets say it involved a shotgun to the dudes neck. It was cool.

[jamie]

Leprechaun in the hood 7/10



A few parts are boring mainly the beginning because there is no leprechaun. After that though it gets great, Basically these teens from the ghetto find the leprechauns treasure and start to spend it ofcourse this awakens the leprechaun and he has to get his gold back. I have two favorite scenes the first one is there is a party at the main characters house and one of the characters is showing this other dude his bong collection. This chick comes up to the guy and drags him away to have sex with him and that leaves the other dude there. The dude finds one of the gold coins and takes it and then starts smoking the dudes weed. Well the leprechaun shows up and ends up getting high and then kills the dude when a piece of gold falls out of his pocket. Then after he kills the dude the leprechaun stumbles downstairs cause he has the munchies and gets trapped in the refrigerator.


Then he kills another dude and hangs onto a car that 3 of the main characters are in (it's a low rider) any way they knock him down anyway this dudes phone rings and the leprechaun answers it and the chick is talking to him and trying to see if maybe he wants to hook up and she asks how tall he is and he goes I'm 3' 6 and she goes off on him and hangs up. There were other things he said but that was the conversation and it was funny.

The commentary on the dvd was pretty bad atleast between the director and warwick davis.

[jamie]

The Book of Eli 6/10



Wasn't enough action there were a few really down parts that were just boring and a few things that didn't make sense. Action I think there were 3 scenes which were actually good but too much story. Anyway the story starts out with Eli who has been walking for 30 years anyway he is wandering west and gets in a bit of trouble. Anyway blah blah blah we all know how this ends. Mila Kunis is very sexy in this but eh I coulda found a few better ways to waste money and time than watching the movie.

[jamie]

Direct Action - 5/10


Not too bad this one stars Dolph Lundgren as a cop who was part of the direct action police squad or whatever but all the people in that squad are dirty and he goes rogue and was going to turn states evidence. Well the bad cops didn't like it and tried to kill him, his new partner not knowing what she was getting in to she helps him out and ends up killing some of the crooked cops. Well now the other crooked cops are after her, him and his other partner. Anyway lots of action and the story was as good as any other Dolph plot.


Leprechaun 4: In space 6/10


not enough nudity but it was ok and had it's moments. Basically this genius wanted to eradicate some kind of alien menace for some reason and they stumble upon the leprechauns lair. Well the leprechaun kidnapped a princess cause he wanted to be king of her planet. Well she had ideas of her own and wanted to kill him anyway the marines show up kill the leprechaun and get the princess back.

Unfortunately the leprechaun never dies and one of the marines pees on the leprechauns corpse. Well the leprechauns soul or something takes over the guy well not really more like he was growing in the guy I guess and while he was about to get some action the leprechaun ends up coming out of the guys dick and then kills the chick.

So he's not on the space station and all he wants is the princess well the genius was like half robot, half human and I guess the princess had some kind of healing factor so she could regrow limbs that were cut off. So he wants to use her dna to basically make him a new body so he refuses and makes the marines go after this dude. Well the marines fail to get him and the leprechaun kills off all but two of them. He actually turns one of them into a girl well mentally which was really really funny. Anyway so the leprechaun gets to the genius and gets the princess but he mixes in spider dna into the mix of stuff teh genius had and the genium slowly turns into a spider.

So the rest of the marines fo after the leprechaun and the princess flashes her breasts (which means death on her planet) and they get away to the holding bay to get his gold back. well the marines follow him in there and stuff happens and they grow the leprechaun to like giant sized which was hilarious.

So anyway everybody gets out of the holding bay and opens up the doors and the leprechaun floats out into space and explodes.

This movie was pretty funny actually all of them after 1 are very good. So see em

[в↓асќ Ісє]

x Watchmen

9.5/10

Its brilliantly written! Its about a group of super heros.. how they started off.. in the early 50's i believe, one among them was rootless, in the end his conscious got the best of him, america was @ war with other countries, next step was to nuke them or us, one of the super heros, the leader, being one of the smartest man in the world, saw this future [the world would be destroyed and there would be nothing left] He did everything and anything to prevent it, in the process he seemed like the bad guy but in the end they truly never stopped being the worlds protectors [heros] as for our rootless leader, there was a child born [ showing us that something good can come out of something evil]

.............


Watchmen 3/10

this movie sucked it didn't know what it was. It was like a bunch of movies all bunched up then the way the villain (if you can call him that) went about his plans they conveniently blocked the blue dudes esp or whatever got blocked even though the dude can do anything he wants. That really pissed me off I mean how are you going to block the all seeing dudes powers basically. Blah anyway it didn't know what kind of movie it wanted to be and then the heroes weren't really heroes they were almost anti heroes so blah on the movie. Then they kill off the cool hero rorschach because he was going to tell the world who really destroyed it.


Don't recomment this one at all.

recommend*

[jamie]

nope movie still sucks

[jamie]

The Legend on Chun Li - 4/10



Action was kinda cool but the story was horrible with major plot holes in it. Basically my main gripe was that she came from a priveliged background and her dad was kidnapped and to find this guy (they don't say why or how they find out) she has to give up everything (which she really didn't) she ends up finding the guy it supposedly took a few months and she was supposed to be broke and stuff but really wasn't cause she was still buying food even though she slept in the alley but. So she ends up finding the guy and he teachers her for who knows how long and then she decided to go to a club and find out some stuff from a person in the gang who kidnapped her dad.

Well they fight in the bathroom and like the police show up and she gets away but the detective finds out who she is. But actually before that I have to say this movie should have been rated R cause there was a joke about golden handcuffs and they hinted that the detectives had sex, Also there was a time in the club where somebody pretty much point blank pulls the trigger inches from the guys throat yet no blood. OK anyway the cops find her and I honestly don't know what happens but the cop is ok with it and starts working with her to bring down this main boss dude. So yeah basically they take the guy down (she kills the boss dude with her thighs) and that's it her trainer comes to see her at her expensive home (that she was supposed to give up) and asks to enter a tournament cause I think he wants to get up an army or something I don't know. But she said maybe next time.

[jamie]

The Last Warrior 3/10



So basically the movie starts out with a 9.5 earthquake and California breaks away from the USA and a bunch of other stuff but the main thing is California breaks away so the survivors are stuck basically. Anyway there is a camp set up of survivors and people come in and out and anyway the story starts out when one of the girls leaves with a dude that shows up and falls into a hole she built for animals. He says he is military but he's obviously not I mean even I could tell and knew exactly what he was (prisoner from the jail) so anyway she ends up leaving with the prisoner (his mission was to I guess scout out the settlement) Ok so she leaves with him and he gets caught by the prisoners and they kill him and take her.

So Dolph and another chick comes across the dudes body and figure out what happened well it's go time for Dolph so he infiltrates the prison. Well this other chick (real smart one) decides she waited enough and to deviate from the plan and infiltrates the prison also. Well she ends up in the sick bay of the prison well everybody there had some kind of sickness and the dude asks her to kill him well her being the smart one fires off a shot well the bad guys hear it obviously luckily Dolph (he turned himself in) had a knife on him and ended up taking out the trash except for two main bosses. Well instead of taking care of the dudes Dolph leaves the chick who got kidnapped with the bad guys well they get away cause she accidentally fires off a shot and the gun falls out of her hand.

So this movie pissed me off mainly because of the chick she is supposed to be military and I'm not a gun expert but she should have known firing a gun would attract attention.

The Geologist pissed me off too that guy was annoying as ****. I was hoping he would get popped in the head or something all through out the movie.

The ending was ok but the way they got out pissed me off this black chick named rainbow did her best storm (x-men character) impression and made it rain then Dolph basically rammed a bomb up their asses and blew up most of the facility.

[jamie]

The Shepherd 4/10



Standard action flick it was ok. Basiclaly Jean Claude Van Damme gets transferred to a border patrol out fix (mexican border) The story gets kinda stupid but basically it ends up where the bad guys hijack this bus and try to get into the USA as priests the bus they actually made and filled it with drugs and ofcourse armor plated it. Well they get spotted and called in well they gotta crash the border so they do and then they get stopped and JCVD and his partner follow them past the mexican border and the mexican police chief who is bribed take them into custody and actually I think they give them to the bad guys who torture them.

Basically the partner took a payoff so he was on their side. Anyway JCVD and his boss (who for some reason got caught too) break out of the dudes mansion and police are on their way (good police)

It was ok but I probably wouldn't watch it again.

[jamie]

Detention 6/10



Dolph is a teacher in this one and he decides to one day just quit well the principal didn't like it and made him stay as long as he could and put him on detention after school. Anyway the school gets invaded by like 6 people. They picked the wrong school to try and take over. So they go back and forth and Dolph kills most of the team then for some reason they actually had C-4 in the basement to blow the school up so the main bad guy after getting tired of Dolph killing off his team calls his girlfriend and tells her that there is aproblem and to come down. She does he takes her hostage so Dolph gets her back killing the dude obviously.


2 of the kids did die I think there was a group of like 5 of them I think and towards the end of the movie one of the kids went into labor. Anyway they get out killing the bad guys in the process


Ok movie lots of action and the main bad guy was pretty cool I think he played the character very well.

[jamie]

Until Death 2/10


Wasn't a huge fan of it Jean claude van damme was a huge ass in the beginning of the movie and then gets shot and becomes a good guy. Not a whole lot of good action.

[jamie]

Wake of Death 3/10



wasn't a big fan of this one either. It's another Jean Claude Van Damme movie. Basically his wife is a social worker and he's I don't know what but I think a gangster of some sort. Anyway a ship of chinese shows up somewhere and his wife ends up taking a 14 year old girl home with her. Well the girls father killed her mother as she watched which is why she escaped. He wants her back and ends up finding her and killing JCVD's family. Well that ofcourse sets him off and he gets revenge. Only cool thing was they needed info from a dude and he wouldn't talk so a power drill came out and after a few rounds with it he talked.

[jamie]

Flash Point 5/10


Not too bad of a movie just kinda slow. Baiscally cop goes undercover, gets caught his cop buddies bail him out he turns evidence and the bad guys try and get the cops. Ending in a sweet end of the movie fight that lasted like 20 minutes or longer. The fighting was excellent in the film I probably wouldn't watch the movie again but I don't think I wasted my time.

[jamie]

Land Of The Lost 7/10



Pretty good I thought there were a few slow parts but I thought the movie was pretty solid. From what I was expecting it was going to be horrid but it really wasn't. I think I've seen the tv series I'm not sure so maybe that's why people hated it cause I don't think it was like the TV show. I do think Will Ferrell should stick to R rated comedies though I'm kinda surprised this got away with a pg-13 rating cause there were a few sex jokes and a few bad words.

[jamie]

Percy Jackson and blah blah blah blah or something 7/10



Pretty decent for a kids movie. I was thinking Harry Potter like and for the most part that was right on. The only bad part is that I think the kids were supposed to be 13/14 and they totally didn't look like it they looked at the very least like juniors or seniors. Alpa Chino from Tropic Thunder was a main character.


BAsically this kid is some gods son and he can stay underwater for like ever or something but he gets accused of stealing Zeus's thunderbolt (he doesn't know his father is a god) and gets dragged into this camp for half bloods cause he was being chased by people who wanted the bolt.

So he meets this hot chick and blah blah blah they go on an adventure to find the bolt and meet up with interesting greek mythology characters and that's about it.

[jamie]

Dragon Ball Evolution


It was ok I thought they should have followed the series more and wasn't a fan of Goku really being a salve to that green dude (can't remember his name) Also I wasn't a fan of having krillan in the movie either. Also the dragon not talking sucked too. Oh yeah no floating cloud or extending pole which sucked.

Anyway overall it was ok the chick who played chichi was fiiiiinnne. Bulma wasn't a fan of the no green hair I did like the green braid that was cool. Anyway check it out it was ok.

[jamie]

In Hell 2/10



Basiclaly Van Damme goes to prison for killing the dude who killed his wife. This movie actually pisses me off after a few trips to the hole Van Damme starts training so the warden puts him in a fight and Van Damme can't fight at all. What kind of movie is it where Van Damme doesn't show off his martial arts skills? I personally call it a bad one. I should mention he's in a jail in Russia for what reason I don't know.


So now his dead wife returns as a ghost to him. Ummmm yeah not liking this movie at all.

[jamie]

Year One 6/10



it was actually pretty funny but I can see how it got bad reviews. The ending well actually the last 30 minutes or so looked like it was written in 5 minutes and kinda clumped together. I did watch the unrated version but I doubt there were too many differences from the original.

Michael Cera is grating on my nerves though.

[jamie]

Copout 8/10



really funny movie a few slow parts but over all pretty good and funny.

[jamie]

Alice in Wonderland 3-d 8/10



This is kinda like the cartoon but it goes a bit more in depth. It was tim burtons alice in wonderland so ofcourse it's a bit weird. I would definately recommend watching it in 3-d cause it wasn't too bad.

[jamie]

Highlander the series 7/10


I watched all 6 seasons for the most part 2 of the episodes weren't completely uploaded, and 1 I pretty much fell asleep on. But it really is a good series, The first 4 seasons were the best with the last 2 being the weakest.

Basically the series is about Duncan Macleod who was born in like 1408 and he is immortal and he goes around killing other immortals but some are his friends but he doesn't kill them and usually the epiosdes have flashbacks so you kinda know what's going on and the relationship between Duncan and the other immortal.

[jamie]

Dead Snow 4/10



so this is a swedish film or norway or something I'm not sure anyway it's about a group of medical school students who go up to one of their friends cabin for easter break.

Well this old dude shows up and invites himself in and tells them the story of the nazi regimen that was stationed there and how they stole from the people and after 2 years of it the people got angry and killed the nazis. I actually had no problem with the movie itself it was a few choices in the movie. Basically the zombie nazis want what's "theirs" the gold that they never got which to me makes no sense I mean what is a nazi zombie going to do with money? get zombie hookers? I don't know

then since I'm sure most people won't rent the movie I'll spoil it. Everybody dies and the nazi zombies win you cannot have a zombie movie where the zombies kill everybody it's impossible and it makes for a bad movie because nobody wants the bad guy to win. Even if that person runs away doesn't matter. The way the last dude died was stupid too, He either tried to or didn't know a stolen coin was in his pocket. So he gives the zombies the treasure and runs away to the car which it's a miracle he has the keys but whatever but somehow the coin drops out of his pocket and 3 seconds later a zombie shows up and kills him.

The pot o gold angle is for leprechauns not zombies. See leprechauns can actually walk around town and kinda blend in, Zombies can but for maybe 5 seconds before they start eating brains and people start either shooting at them or running away.

[jamie]

Sniper 3 8/10




It was pretty cool lots of action not enough sniping though. Basically a sniper who is the best one is hired and sent to off this dude and everything is set up and the sniper has arthritis or something in his sniper finger and it acts up so instead of sniping the dude he grazes him and kills the dude in front of him. So he gets caught and then released and ends up fighting and killing the dude.

[jamie]

New Police Story 4/10


It seemed pretty slow and was more drama than action. Basically Jackie Chan plays I don't remember his name but he was in the other movies but is now a police commissioner.

Well a bank is robbed and a bunch of police are killed so Jackie find them but they are waiting for him and they kill his entire team which makes him sad and he takes a year long leave and turns into an alcoholic. Anyway this dude comes in and tells him his orders have been rescinded and they go and try to find this gang.

They find them and end up getting them.

the action was towards the end of the movie which is good it's just the first part was all drama pretty much which got boring.

[jamie]

Spirited Killer 0/10



Another Thai movie. These things are pretty horrid. The fighting was cool but not too much else. Basically this voodoo dude was killing people off so the chief gets some people and they end up hacking the voodoo dude but I have no idea if they killed him or not. anyway I guess a few months later this dude shows up and starts killing people apparently he cannot be hurt or killed.

Blah Blah Blah

It ends up the voodoo dude is also invincible and the other dude is his buddy or whatever but they want to get back at the village that ran him orr/ killed him or whatever so they end up at the village and everybody is trying to kill these two guys and nothing happens and as they are about to I guess all die or something a holyman shows up with a special sword ofcourse he doesn't fight but gives the sword to one of the villagers and they start hurting these guys. Well the last scene was one of the dudes ends up getting up looking pissed but the movie ends. So there's not really a ending.

I really really disliked this movie very badly.

[jamie]

Clash Of The Titans (2010) 5/10


Wasn't too impressed with the 3-d on it so if anybody is going to go and see it save your money and see it in 2-d. Anyway like I said I saw it in 3-d but I also saw it in something called XD. Basically the only difference is that the seats are leather and have high backs. But it's more expensive and not really worth it.

So the movie starts out with a fisherman finding a baby in a coffin with it's dead mother. He adopts the baby and rasies it. Anyway something happens and his parents die and he gets taken to some place which I don't remember but the people don't really help him or try to find out what happened. Hades shows up and frightens everybody but they find out this dude is a demi god.

Well they torture him (kinda) and throw him in jail, this chick shows up and kinda bails him out and for some reason the city now trusts him and him and a group of people go on a journey to find some witches. After the witches they gotta find medusa where everybody dies cause the Kraken is too big to not fight in the air or something. Anyway he fights the kraken kills it with medusas head then kills well not kills more like sends him back to where he belongs and that's pretty much the end of the movie.

Pretty disappointing honestly especially the ending. The other thing that pissed me off was the fighting they want all these awesome battles and stuff but they used a zoomed in shaky cam so you really all you saw was movement and not much else. I hate this type of camera it adds nothing to the movie and makes me feel sick.

The only other part is I don't know why everybody wants to see this movie especially on a $15 movie ticket basically 20 mintues before the movie started it was pretty packed so we had to sit in the second row from the screen anyway my neck hurts and I kinda have a headache. The XD stuff could be kinda cool but only if the seats were like all good seats. They could have taken out 4 or 5 rows and that woulda been awesome.

[Sublime LIME]

is that the one with the pegasus?? I didnt read your review cause I wanna see it, but 5/10 isnt good

[jamie]

is that the one with the pegasus?? I didnt read your review cause I wanna see it, but 5/10 isnt good


It's pretty bad. Yeah it's got a black pegasus in it. That's the horse thingy with wings right? It's the one with the commercial that says Release The Kraken.

[jamie]

Once A Thief 4/10



It was supposed to be a action/comedy movie and it pretty much failed on both ends. I do have a pretty weird sense of humor but there was only really one part that I laughed at and it's only cause the joke failed the first 6 times and you just had to laugh at the last time.

Basically the movie is about 3 orphans who are adopted by a thief, He's very mean to them and teaches them to become criminals, Anyway they go on a painting spree for their adoptive father. It ends up he double crosses them and so the older one kinda plays a bit of a joke on him. Anyway the older one is crippled now and his adoptive father doesn't help him so he makes it his job to make his adoptive fathers life a living hell pretty much and anyway the younger one and the girl doesn't know anything yet so their adoptive father asks them to do a job for him.

Wasn't too much humor there was alot of action though but just wasn't my kind of movie

[jamie]

XXX 10/10



this movie is so awesome I have to watch it everytime it's on. This one is about a extreme sports dude who breaks the law and anyway the CIA wants to get a different kind of secret agent so up comes Vin Diesel, He ends up meeting the bad guys, gets on their bad side and saves the world (just like every other spy movie)

Anyway I just want to say I'd do very naughty things to Asia Argento :ihih:

[jamie]

Comman Performance 9/10



this movie is pretty awesome, It's a Dolph Lundgren movie but it starts out with him practicing as a drummer cause his band is going to be the opening act for something ot another the main star was a pop star. Anyway so the concert starts and ofcourse being a dolph lundgren movie terrorists take over the concert Dolph is in the bathroom smoking a doobie but pretty much everybody gets decimated, this dude tries to kill Dolph and ofcourse we can't have that happening so basically Dolph shoves a drum stick through the dudes mouth and it comes out his eye.


Anyway, don't remember how but he teams up with a russian agent and they pretty much kicking some ass.

[jamie]

Pink Floyd: The Wall 3/10


I honestly don't even know the plot of this film I mean I think there was some underlying statements in the movie but I wasn't really looking too hard. But mainly it's a mix of animation and real life stuff. They also had a flying vagina in it.


I'm betting if you were like really really high it might make more sense/be better

[jamie]

Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)


7.5/10



It was actually alot better than what I thought it would be, I thought they could have made it a little better but the movie was solid. There were a few parts I thought they could make better

The credits they coulda just had the names carved or have it the way they did but don't put directed by or produced by or whatever. The way they did it was ok but it woulda been better my way.

No topless shots (it's an R rated movie and no boobies? come on)

Freddy - I actually didn't mind him I just thought he didn't look human but jackie earle ray did a good job.

Not enough blood with the bedroom scene, I know it's not real but blood shoulda been all over the place and it really wasn't


My favorite part was the ending though (it sounds bad but really it's not) the song they picked was really really appropriate for the ending, it was awesome.

it was this song
9fW7MoINvQc

[jamie]

dead man's shoes (can't rate it)


So this is a first I can't rate it cause I didn't watch all of it. It kinda seemed like a seinfeld episode where nothing really happens. Way too much talking and not enough action

And the person who wrote the movie has some kind of obsession with cock and balls. I just kinda got bored and also the other thing that kinda disinterested me is that I sometimes have a hard time understanding a accent. It's hit and miss for me like sherlock holmes was ok for about 40% of the movie the rest I had no idea what they were saying. The other thing that hurt too was the sound on it was really really low. I had to turn my speakers up to about the middle option to hear and it was still pretty low, anything above that made it really really loud.

[jamie]

H.O.T.S 6/10



Basically it's about a bunch of girls who form a sorority and want to get back at the other sorority. Lots of boobies and the way they settle their differences is a strip football game. I think if the NFL put chicks on the teams and had em strip they would get like millions and millions of people watching.

Anyway it was ok standard fare for a 80's college/sorority movie

[jamie]

Loverboy 7/10



Not too bad basically it's about a slacker who finds himself. He's scared to stand up for himself, anyway he goes back home from college for the summer and works for a pizza place. He meets this older lady and she basically orders a pizza from his place with extra anchovies. Which basically meant that he's going to get some. Anyway other ladies start to call him and all they want is like to feel special or whatever so not necessarily sex and he charges $200, this is all for him to get back to school so he can see his girlfriend.

She comes into town some dick tries to steal her and 3 of the husbands find out what's been going on so it's a mess but in the end he figures out what he wants and his dad pays for him to go to college.

[jamie]

Iron Man 2 10/10


this movie is really really really awesome, It's kinda story heavy but I enjoyed every minute of it and will probably see it atleast one more time.

oh also stay after the credits there is a surprise

[jamie]

Full Time Killer 6/10


this one was kinda cool it was about 2 assassins one that is the #1 assassin and another one that it just starting out and is flashy and wants the #1 spot.
It was mostly story driven with some action thrown in the biggest action scene was at the end of the movie when the two assassins go at it. It was actually a pretty cool movie

[jamie]

High Risk 4/10



this is a old school jet li movie and it's pretty dated. It's kinda similar to Die hard just not as good. About the funniest thing on this movie were the subtitles there was engrish all over the place. Only reason I kept watching. I almost turned it off when this white dude in a thong did a high kick. I pretty much saw everything and about threw up on myself. Oh they also showed a penis which I didn't get why but whatever.


Oh probably the funniest gag was that the movie star in the movie was pretty much a wuss and didn't fight at all except when somebody started beating his dad.

THe movie starts out with jet li as a commander and some dude makes teachers and kids get onto this bus wired with explosives and it's up to jet li to detonate the bomb. Which he doesn't do and so his wife and kid dies on the bus. So he quits the military and becomes his nephews body guard (nephew is the movie star) and he goes to a gala that gets taken over. And the dude who does it is the guy that killed his wife and kid.

[HumanPinata]

Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)


7.5/10



It was actually alot better than what I thought it would be, I thought they could have made it a little better but the movie was solid. There were a few parts I thought they could make better

The credits they coulda just had the names carved or have it the way they did but don't put directed by or produced by or whatever. The way they did it was ok but it woulda been better my way.

No topless shots (it's an R rated movie and no boobies? come on) <--- LOL

Freddy - I actually didn't mind him I just thought he didn't look human but jackie earle ray did a good job.

Not enough blood with the bedroom scene, I know it's not real but blood shoulda been all over the place and it really wasn't


My favorite part was the ending though (it sounds bad but really it's not) the song they picked was really really appropriate for the ending, it was awesome.

it was this song
9fW7MoINvQc

Good review dude, I seen it a couple days ago, way better than most of the Horror "Remakes" they seem to be doing lately

[jamie]

Yeah the one that comes to my mind is the new friday the 13th that movie was really really bad.

[jamie]

The hitman. 5/10


Ok movie basically it starts off with a crime boss getting assassinated but he has a revenge fund so whoever kills him has a 100 milion yen bounty on his head.

So this attracts the worlds top assassins. Jet li and this other dude team up basically they suck at assassinations but they basically finding the guy but instead of killing him they team up with him and bring down the grandson. Anyway the 3 get the money anyway cause the accountant basically wanted the money but couldnt just take it

[Caney]

Loverboy 7/10



Not too bad basically it's about a slacker who finds himself. He's scared to stand up for himself, anyway he goes back home from college for the summer and works for a pizza place. He meets this older lady and she basically orders a pizza from his place with extra anchovies. Which basically meant that he's going to get some. Anyway other ladies start to call him and all they want is like to feel special or whatever so not necessarily sex and he charges $200, this is all for him to get back to school so he can see his girlfriend.

She comes into town some dick tries to steal her and 3 of the husbands find out what's been going on so it's a mess but in the end he figures out what he wants and his dad pays for him to go to college.


Who would've thought that he would turn into McDreamy?

[jamie]

yeah, I just wanted to eat the pizza there.

[jamie]

Prince Of Persia 7/10



I hated the story line everything else was ok. I pretty much figured out what was going to happen 20 minutes into the movie so wasn't really surprised. It actually did have alot of action which was cool and the scenery was nice. Just the story line was pretty generic.

[jamie]

The Hangover 5/10



I don't know I guess I just didn't get the humor of it. Mike Tyson was cool but just didn't find it all that funny. Heather Graham was hot though

[jamie]

Wrestlemaniac 4/10



The movie was ok but when the killer wrestler showed up and fought the fat guy that's when it fell apart.

Basically the movie is about 3 dudes and 3 chicks and I think 2 of em are making a porn movie with the 3 girls, 1 guy 3 girls (other dude is a cameraman and the other dude passed out and his friends stole his van) well they end up in Mexico for some reason and end up and then they drive past this ghost town where this maniac wrestler lives or that was the rumor.


Ofcourse their van hit a rock and breaks down, So now they are stuck in the town so they decide to kinda start shooting the porn movie in the town. Anyway the wrestler is in the town stalking them and killing them and after 'beating" them (like in a wrestling match) he rips their "mask" off (their face) anyway the part I didn't like is this guy had a ton of lobotomies on him and who knows what else he's basically a zombie but a regular guy. So the fat guy says to beat him we have to take his mask, So after some chasing he puts on his mask and tries to wrestle the guy, well he loses ofcourses and it was explained that this guy was a good guy and stuck to all the rules.

The problem is that he "wrestled" three girls which is pretty much a no no for a good wrestler. Anyway the final chick ends up jabbing a pipe through his stomache and the way the dude was he wasn't getting out of it easily. But somehow he lives and ends up killing the final girl and taking her face. Then the thing that made me kinda mad is he took their van (final girl fixed it) and was driving down the road. If he really wanted to leave he coulda walked or something. I just didn't like it. I know why they did it that way but.

For a B movie it wasn't that bad but they coulda fixed it a bit better I think

[jamie]

Kung Fu Mummy 0/10



So I mean the title just screams that it's going to be a funny movie, And it failed pretty bad at just about everything. I watched for about 10 minutes thinking where is the mummy and where is the comedy?. Alas the comedy never came but the mummy kinda did until he took off his bandages.

[jamie]

Santa's Slay 7/10




this movie was pretty awesome and really funny, Basically Santa is Satan's son and Christmas day was like his day to wreak havok on earth. well this angel comes down and beats him in a game so for 1000 years Santa has to be nice and be the Santa we all know. Well it's the end of the 1000 ban and Santa is back wreaking havoc on everybody so the Angel, his grandson and girlfriend have to fight Santa. Lots of comedic moments and really really funny go see it even though it's a christmas movie

[jamie]

I sell the dead 6/10



it was actually pretty cool but got kinda weird towards the end. This is about 2 grave robbers who work for a doctor and he wants them to get bodies that the doctor can experiment on. anyway along the way they meet vampires well a vampire, a space alien and zombies. The vampire scene was probabl the funniest because the body was buried with garlic and a steak through the heart. When the steak was removed the vampire came back alive. Anyway they got rid of the doctor by giving him the vampire and not telling him about the steak. And he removed it and she (the vampire) killed him.

[jamie]

Funland 6/10



not too bad of a movie it was kinda too story driven but it actually worked this time. It's about a theme park called funland and the owner gets killed by a mafia boss because he wants to take over the park.

Anyway this clown goes a little crazy and ends up getting rid of the mafia and buys the park himself cause he owns stock or something. The clown was pretty creepy though.

[jamie]

Life Blood 6/10



Basically this is about 2 lesbian vampires (kinda). In like the 60's one of the girls kills a dude and she runs with her girlfriend and the girl tells the other one to stop and she gets out crying because they ran over a possum.

Well a dust storm arrives and I guess god shows up and she kills the girl that killed the dude and made the other one a angel(basically vampire without the fangs and weaknesses except the sun) and the girl made a deal to bring her girlfriend back and make her what she is.


Anyway for some reason they go to sleep for 40 years and once they get up they are supposed to get rid of evil so that god won't have to flood the earth again. So it ends up the girl who killed the dude just kills because she can and then kills her girlfriend. The other girl finally sees her girlfriend for what she is and they fight and the girl who killed the dude dies (or does she :rolleyes5: )

The movie was ok I guess it wasn't too porny but a few topless shots and a few scenes of the girls making out . I didn't like the ending cause after the girl killed her girlfriend they show her impaled on a pole and then cut back to it and she's gone. I hate that it's like if you want a sequel you can do it pretty easily without having to go the cheap route.

[jamie]

Demon Hunter 5/10



wasn't that bad but they needed a better fight coreographer. Basically this dude who is half demon and half human works for the church and he kills other demons. Well this I don't know what but this demon I guess wanted to take over the world so ofcourse the half demon and demon had to fight. Well he had a partner who was a nun and she helped him. Anyway she gets caught and the demon was about to I guess mate with her well she turns into a succubus and kills the demon. Then the half demon kills her, I hated this part cause there was no sign she was anything but a regular person. So it's like they threw it in as a twist or whatever but to me it didn't work

Basically the church betrayed their weapon by not telling him this so now he kinda does his own thing.

[jamie]

Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince 7/10



pretty good kinda boring in parts though but it's nice to see it got a bit darker and actually showed blood. So this one is about Harry and the gang I'm actually not sure what. Finding love? that's what most of the story was about. Anyway the last hour I think it was was devoted to Harry finding that one dark wizard dude who never shows up I don't think they just figure out he hid his soul in like 8 different pieces of stuff. It was a good story telling movie though. I do totally wanna bang Emma Watson though.

I've only watched the movies and haven't read the books so I'm not sure how the books are different.

[jamie]

Mallrats 8/10



I like this movie alot probably one of my most favorite ones. Anyway this one is about 2 dudes who get dumped by their girlfriends and head out to the mall which is like a central hangout for everybody in town or something. Anyway one of the dudes girlfriends ends up doing a dating type show for her dad (which is why they broke up) and I guess the boyfriend tries to stop the show. So it's just about the shenanigans that they get up to along with a few other characters. It's a pretty good movie though.


oh I'd like to add that I'd totally bang Claire Forlani and Joey Lauren Adams and that Trish girl

[jamie]

4/10 (just cause there are 2 set of boobies in it)


I'm actually not sure what this movie is about but I really did try to watch it twice and it was a all day event cause I'd keep pausing it to take a break. All I know is it's about a hit woman who I'm guessing is on some kind of job but there really aren't that many assassinations in the movie or atleast the hour I watched. It's kinda like a episode of seinfeld just longer it's like a in the life of an assassin or something cause the story I saw was just her living her life. Anyway it was pretty bad.

[jamie]

the gene generation 6/10


wasn't too bad, basically it's about an assassin who kills people who steal others DNA which honestly wasn't that big a part of the movie. like it happened once. Anyway this chicks brother gets in trouble and she bails him out then the idiot steals his device that like either heals you or messes up your genes. Not sure how to make it go bad but basically a bunch of snakes come out of your body and I think eats it slowly or something.

Anyway she has to fight a few different people and she ends up getting shot after taking out 5 guys, one dude pretty much shoots her but she gets healed. Then some different people steal her brother and like genetically modifies him (I think) it's whatever they did to her too I think. Anyway basically everybody dies except her and I think she leaves the planet.

Bai Ling stars in this and I have to say she has some incredible nipples.

[jamie]

Stan Helsing 9/10




this movie was hilarious, Basically it's about a dude named Stan who has a famout last name. Stan though works at a blockbuster type store and it's halloween. As he is getting off of work his boss tells him he has to deliver some videos to the owners mother. Him and his friends meet up with some weird people on their journey and end up in a gated community that was once a movie studio that burned down.

Well unbeknownst to him there are a bunch of monsters that are trying to kill him. Chucky, Freddy Kruegger, Pinhead, Jason, Michael Meyers and I think I'm missing one or two. These obviously aren't the real monsters they are rip offs and it's pretty funny anyway I'm gonna post a video and the ending kinda is that the monsters and stan have to do a karaoke contest. I thought the monsters did a better job but.

bzf44hNhhNQ


here is the trailer

mirrIRv5DUc

[jamie]

Public Enemies 6/10



I didn't really get to watch this one like I did but mostly it was without sound cause everybody was like oh turn the tv down it's too loud. Anyway it seemed ok for like a one time movie but I don't think I will rewatch it. It was also kinda long which isn't bad but for a movie without a lot of action it was kinda boring the action scenes were long but there just weren't many of em.

[jamie]

dark rising - 5/10



this movie is about this dude and his daughter. The dad opens up some kind of portal and a monster comes out and kills him and kidnaps the daughter. Well not sure how long but the movie picks up a couple years later and a group of 5 friends I guess goes out camping. Well the 3 girls are into witchcraft and buy a book, the same book that the dad had. Anyway one of the chicks read the passage the dad did and a portal opens. The little girl from before and a evil dude show up. The girl though is older now and is fighting the bad guy. Anyway the bad guy kills 3 of the group one by biting and they had to kill her. The other the bad guy stabbed through the stomache and the other one I'm not sure what happened to but he turned. So they get the portal back open the last chick dies and the bad guy goes through the portal with the dude.

So now the chick that was in the portal is now out in the real world or whatever and it ends kinda.

It was a ok movie and 2 of the girls were lesbians and always like kissing and stuff. I think all or atleast half the girls got topless.

[jamie]

Terminator: Salvation


7/10



I've never been a fan of any of the terminator movies but I did like this one. Alot of action and the story was ok though kinda wish they would have gotten rid of the robots once and for all I mean how long are these movies going to go on for?

[jamie]

Night Of The Living Dorks 6/10



I think this was a german movie, I'm not sure if it was dubbed or meant to look that way but it was actually pretty funny. It's about 4 people basically. A dude and two of his friends and then the girl that lives next to him. Anyway she and her friends are into voodoo and one of the main characters want to get a love potion for a different girl he loves. So something happens and the 3 main characters get in a car accident and die, Then come back to life as zombies. Not like mindless zombies but rotting corpses. One of them is the normal zombie type meaning he eats people but the other two try and stop them.

Anyway the main chick ends up helping them dezombiefy themselves. So it was actually a pretty funny movie.

[jamie]

UHF 7/10



this film stars Weird Al Yankovich and he's kind of a loser in that he can't keep a job and anyway his uncle has a tv station that is failing in ratings but has nobody to manage it. So the uncles wife says why doesn't weird al do it. The first few weeks or so he kinda sucks at it until Michael Richards (the janitor) starts working and weird al tells him to go on a kids show as host. He is instantly a big hit anyway the show starts doing a little better and better and finally becomes the biggest network in the city.

This doesn't please the network and he tries to buy the station to try and get rid of it but it doesn't work and Weird Al ends up buying it.

It's a good movie kinda weird though but I think it's a must see especially on a 80's night.

[jamie]

Death Race 2000 6/10 (1975 version)



Wasn't too bad of a movie honestly, After watching it though the remake kinda sucked. Basically it's a race from New York to California and has I think 5 or 6 racers. you win by points I believe and you get points by killing people with your car. I thought this was kinda weak only because there were maybe 7 kills in the whole movie. I'm not looking for a bloodbath but something more woulda been cooler. I do have to say the death scenes were pretty bloody and gruesome for 1975 really good effects.

Oh the movie also had Sylvester Stallone in it which was a surprise to me cause I thought it would have been Frank Stallone. Anyway so it's a race between a few people and if you don't win you die basically, The race was made by the president and is kinda like the gladiators in rome. Anyway a rebel faction wants to end the race and they start killing off people.

anyway it's a decent movie if you can check it out. The story was kinda bad but it was more of it doesn't really stray from the main story so it's kind of like a A to B story which isn't bad but it makes it short and it coulda been better.

[jamie]

The Warriors 7/10



it was a ok movie though the gang choices were a little odd. There was a gang of mimes, I mean how hardcore is that? they'd probably be doing that walking against the wind thing and as your thinking this guy is an idiot he probably stabs you in the eye or something.

Anyway this is about a gang leader who wants to join all the gangs into one I believe or atleast have the gangs take over New York. Well somebody in the audience shoots him and he dies. The gang the warriors gets the blame by the person who shot the main gang dude. And now all the gangs are after the warriors and they are trying to get to Coney Island but you gotta go through like 4 or 5 trains. Anyway they do get home and the real shooter gets caught.

[jamie]

Subspecies 1 and 2 3/10



These are some of the worst movies ever and the main character is probably the worst vampire ever. there was something about how he was banished but he comes back to claim some kind of stone so he kills his brother and father but ends up getting killed by like 2 chicks.

the second one is kinda the same somehow he comes back alive again and then kills his brother again and reclaims the stone. I honestly didn't watch it but the vampire dude gets killed by two chicks again. I guess there are 5 movies but only 2 are on demand and I'm not going to waste the mailer for netflix on the rest.

[jamie]

Monster Dog 1/10



this was a pretty bad movie. Basically it stars Alice Cooper who plays a dude named vincent raven I believe anyway he's doing a music video but isn't like inspired or something so the record company makes him go back to his child hood home to get some inspiration. Well when he gets there he gets alot of inspiration cause apparently werewolves have been killing people.

The werewolf makeup was horrid they were rubber masks and also the songs in the movie were pretty bad too.

this was the first song

baeogHddsK8

this was the other one

mXjrntGFFC0


anyway so alice cooper gets bit by a werewolf and I think turns into one not sure if the chick shot him or not but basically the last 3 minutes of the movie was a recap of what happened in the film. I'm guessing they put this part in in case you fell asleep or just didn't really care about the movie but wanted to review it. I actually fast forwarded through most of the movie like 90% probably and the parts I watched weren't especially funny or memorable.

[jamie]

Cashback 1/10




this is like a emo persons dream movie. Jeez it was boring I heard the movie was good but apparently everybody sucked that told me that so.



it's about this dude who breaks up with his girlfriend and gets all mopey and now can't sleep because he's all mopey. Anyway through his night job he meets this other girl and goes out with her and she sees him and the ex kiss which the dude was caught off guard from. Anyway she gets pissed and dumps him and he gets all mopey, well mopier? cause he was mopey already

[jamie]

hellblock 13 5/10



it was ok I guess, It's a b horror movie basically. It starts out with this really psycho chick that is locked up and her executor talks to her before she is to go to the electric chair. Anyway she tells 3 stories which aren't really that scary and then the executor leaves she kills herself and when he comes back she kills him and that's about it.

[jamie]

resident evil afterlife



whatever the new one is. It was ok and pretty cool in Imax 3-d just not sure it was worth the $18 it cost to get in. It had some cool zombie killing but that was about it. And the main bad guy pissed everybody off cause he wouldn't die. Also there was another dude who was in the movie who reminded me of some kind of evil luigi. Anyway it was a ok movie but I don't know about the 3-d part of it. There were a few cool 3-d parts but otherwise it was average.




Hell Ride

didn't really like this one I mainly fast forwarded through it. Basically this dudes girlfriend or something gets burned by this other motorcycle gang and so he goes on a rampage killing the motorcycle gang.

[jamie]

Highlander - I think it was the first movie



It was ok it seemed a little bit like a B movie and I think there was only 2 sword fights. The main bad guy did look pretty badass though.

[jamie]

Vampires Assistant/ Cirque de Freak


It was actually a pretty good movie I was surprised. I hope they do more, the main vampire dude I can't remember his name but he didn't annoy me like he did in step brothers.

basically it's about a freak show that comes to town and these two kids go to it and one of them steals a spider and the other one goes to the vampire and asks him to turn him into a vampire. Anyway the stolen spider ends up biting one of the kids and he is in the hospital and going to die. So the one who stole the spider goes to the vampire and asks for the antidote, the dude agrees but the kid had to become a half vampire and do some errands for him.

He agrees and they save his friend, Well the dude had to die to break the chains and whatnot but his friend who he saved took it kinda hard and another vampire faction came in and turned the friend so they are both vampires and are supposed to play out some kind of apocolypse thing.

the kid who stole the spider moves in with the freaks from the show and they live on some carnival ground or something but he ends up falling in love with a monkey girl.

[jamie]

Defendor



I liked this movie it was kind of unexpected though because it's a super hero movie but not totally. Basically Woody Harrelson plays a mentally challenged dude who is a super hero well plays one. But he has no special powers, instead he had different things kinda like batman. he had marbles, hornets and a club. Anyway his mom died from drugs and he made it his mission in life to uphold the law anyway he gets on the track of captain industry

So it was a good movie and the ending was unexpected.

[jamie]

Lesbian Vampire Killers




this was actually a good movie could have gone more in depth on the characters but otherwise it's cool, basically these 4 girls decide to go to some place in england to research a urban legends well the urban legend in this place is a vampire queen, so they go to a tavern and the bartender rents them a cottage,


On the other side is these two dudes one of them their girlfriend broke up with him for like the 1000 time only to get back together with him anyway they get drunk and decide to go on a vacation so one of them throws a dart and lands in this village in england, the same place the girls go

well the dudes rent up the same cottage as the girls and meet up when they get close and the girls car stalls, basically the vampire lesbian comes and turns 3 of the girls into vampire lesbians. The other one falls in love with one of the dudes and he saves the day and they get together I guess.


basically I connected with the other dude character, he said alive or dead girls would rather have sex with other girls than have sex with me and with my luck I'd be the one getting it behind from a werewolf (that's a close quote to what he said but it's true)



anyway it was a good movie go and see it

[jamie]

I was a Teenage Ninja




Uhhhh I knew I was in trouble about 3 minutes in where it said the human body has 8 holes but the female body has 9 and she uses it to her advantage. Ofcouse me I was thinking of the 8 holes anyway and I came up with 9 (does that mean I'm a girl?) anyway this movie was bad I fast forwarded through pretty much all of it. The fight scenes were bad too and the sex scenes were bad.

What I found funny was the ninja chick was supposed to have blue eyes. Well she did on a close up and all other times she had brown eyes. She was supposed to be part foreigner which whoever played her dad was asian so I'm not sure where her blue eyes came from. Anyway yeah I don't think there was a story line at all minus the beginning and end. Anyway it was a crappy movie and I only wish I knew this was a softcore porn movie the sad thing is is that I rented it from netflix

[jamie]

Cutie Honey



it was actually a pretty good movie, It's based off a anime and is about a girl who basically died but her father saved her with some kind of technology that gives her powers and stuff. Anyway she fights this evil organization who keeps kidnapping her uncle because their leader wanted the technology for herself. So basically it's about Cutie Honey making friends and then fighting the evil dudes.

[jamie]

Screwballs


This is one of those sex comedies from the late 70's so it's pretty raunchy. Anyway this one is about I believe 5 high school boys who go to TA high school, Using various methods they all get detention, well miss prissy comes in and they aren't supposed to move from the bench and she drops some papers on purpose and they clean em up well the principal gives them 5 days of detention.

Well they decide they are going to get back at her and the only way was to see her naked, Which is an awesome way to get back at a chick (haha) anyway they all try and fail well the nerd gets a new idea since they all failed and that is to put electro magnetics around the gym and they did something to her clothes anyway during homecoming she was singing the national anthem and the nerd turns on the magnets and her clothes and countless other things come off and stick to the metal.

So they get revenge and the movie ends.

[jamie]

sometimes they come back



this was a ok movie but it seemed kinda off, anyway it's about this dude who like 25 years ago his brother was killed while he watched and then the killers got hit by a train. So they want revenge on the boy who is now a teacher and the ghosts end up killing kids in his class and taking their spots, Wasn't really scary and the ending was kinda stupid

[jamie]

Phantasm 5/10




I think this film is from 1979. Anyway it starts out where I guess this kid lost both his parents and is afraid of losing his brother. On the other end the tall man who is the bad guy in this movie for some reason likes to change into a hot blonde, have sex with guys then change into himself when they are done and kills the guys. He later digs them up and uses them as slaves.

Well the kid sees this and now the dude is after him.

For a movie set in 1979 it was ok and I have to say there was one scene where the kid was looking at a picture and the picture turned to look at him and then went back to how it was that was prett cool.

I probably wouldn't watch the movie again but I am kind of curious about the other I think 6 films.

[jamie]

The Dead One




This one stars Fez from that 70's show. Anyway this movie sucks it's like a crow movie except stupider. It's kind of like a mexican crow movie.

[jamie]

The thirst




I kinda watched it the story seemed ok and I kinda fast forwarded through it though. just from what I saw it was ok

[jamie]

Star Slammer



this is a really bad 80's scifi movie. Wouldn't surprise me if everybody was high making this

[jamie]

Bitch Slap!


ram this in your clam bake bitch cakes




with lines like that how can you not love this movie. I swear this is the funniest movie I've seen in awhile. It's so cheesy everybody should check it out.

[jamie]

Skyline




Ummmm the best part of this movie is that I didn't have to pay for it. this movie sucked donkey balls like 10 times. I swear there was no plot to the movie (if you can call it that) and there's no reason for anything happened. Anyway it's basically about a group of dudes and aliens take over, one of the dudes finds out his girlfriend is pregnant, they get abducted and then his brain gets put into some like alien body and I guess he fights and defeats the aliens cause it pretty much ended there.


:party:

[nicole]

so was it a 5 / 10???

wheres the rating????

[jamie]

so was it a 5 / 10???

wheres the rating????


I quit doing the ratings. They were getting kinda messed up.

[jamie]

Thankskilling



This movie was so bad but it was really really funny. Basically a native indian in 1602 I believe it was thought a whiteman dissed him. So he called up a turkey an evil one ofcourse to kill all the white people who disses indians and their land. So ofcourse there are 5 kids out from college who I'm still not sure what they did but the turkey goes after them.

[jamie]

Faster



It was ok, it was more story driven than action though but the action was good. Really good story telling and the violence was no nonsense so it was pretty brutal.

movie is about the rock who goes around killing people on a list. I don't want to get into it more than that cause it will ruin the story but he goes around killing certain people.

[-Mantra-]

The Room

:o11::rofl::willy_nilly::icon_bs:
Well... just don't watch it. Its so awful its funny.

[jamie]

Yakuza Like A Dragon


this is based off of a video game created by sega which I have to say I like alot. Anyway this movie is about a few things, one is a bonny and clyde sideline which wasn't in the games I don't think, I can't remember the other but the main one was about Kazuma Kiryu who is a former I think japanese mafia member, Not sure what he was in this one but he just got out of jail and decided to start looking for 13 billion that was stolen from his ex clan, he meets a little girl who's mom actually stole the money and was also a childhood friend. Anyway he goes around fighting people and one of these is a dude names Majima I believe. Anyway I think he's another child hood friend of Kazumas. Anyway he was one eye and he fights kazuma a few times.

I don't remember why they were fighting though but that dude is crazy. He gets beat up at the batting cages and on the way to the hospital he wakes up and wants to go back and says he's fine so he hijacks the ambulance anyway I'd only watch this if your a fan of the games and even then it's just as a thing to say I've seen the movie. It wasn't bad and the fighting scenes were good it's just the story was all over the place.

[jamie]

The Good, The Bad, The Weird



It starts off with I think a mob boss that is selling this map to a treasure but then he wants it back too so he sends out his assassin to get the map back, anyway shenanigans happen and it ends up 3 people are actually after the treasure so they chase each other.

It's kinda of a futuristic western some people get around by horses and some by motorcycles. It was ok but I didn't understand the ending of the movie. I think this is another one time movie, meaning this is the only time I'll see it it was ok but not good enough to watch again.

[jamie]

Elvira: Satanic Rites of Dracula



Movie sucked but Elvira was hot so I'm confused. The movie was so so terrible and dracula died from basically a tree. I was thinking and I think I could do kind of what elvira does just not as sexily. I was thinking when the dude jumped out the window I coulda popped up in a box and said see ya count suckula there were a few more but just watch this movie for elvira otherwise it sucks.

[jamie]

OngBak 3


This one sucked too, Once Tony Jaa had his mental breakdown everything became way too spiritual. Fight scenes were mediocre and the story made little sense. So I'd say skip this one and just pretend OngBak 1 is the only ong bak movie made.

[jamie]

Suck



this movie was actually pretty awesome, It's about a band that's kinda going nowhere but in a city they are in one of the band members meets a vampire and turns her into one. Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins and I think some other musicians but it was almost a music video movie but anyway I definately recommend it.


YouTube - Suck - Movie Trailer

[jamie]

I've rated 1918 movies on netflix, is that impressive or sad?


anyway I've watched a few movies but I watched happy birthday to me a few days ago it was pretty good for a movie set in 1981

YouTube - Happy Birthday to Me (1981 - Original Theatrical Trailer)

If anybody is into the slasher genre I'd see it it's pretty good and there are a few bizarre deaths and a few scenes that kinda don't make any sense.


anyway here is the ending song to the movie

YouTube - Happy Birthday To Me (1981) Theme Song

[jamie]

zombie zombie zombie


it was pretty good, it's about a bunch of strippers a pimp and his hoes and 2 or 3 other people. anyway these chicks take some pills that turn them into zombies and so they have to go into the strip club and basically survive.

[jamie]

Airplane 2


I didn't really watch it but from what I fast forwarded through it was kinda stupid.

YouTube - Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Trailer

[jamie]

shadowfury


another movie I kinda fastforwarded through but it didn't seem interesting. I don't even think there were any fighting scenes.


YouTube - Shadow Fury - Official Trailer

[jamie]

Mutant vampire zombies from the hood

fast forwarded through this one too, it seemed to be too much story not enough action. I don't even think I saw a vampire zombie (zombie vampire?) anyway I'd skip this one too.

YouTube - Mutant Zombies From The 'Hood Trailer

[jamie]

zapped


this one starred scott baio I think that's how you spell his name. But basically he gets telekinetic powers and I kinda fast forwarded though it honestly. I've seen it before and it wasn't my kind of movie.

YouTube - Zapped! (1982) Film Trailer @ mondo-video.com

[jamie]

so I watch anime sometimes and I watched one called spice and wolf last night and it's about this travelling merchant in medieval times and he travels around selling items. Anyway in one town a wolf godess somehow gets into his wagon and he promises her to take her north.

It's was actually pretty good, I wasn't sure what to expect going in but I watched all 13 episodes last night.


YouTube - Spice and Wolf - Now Available on DVD - Trailer

[jamie]

Dark House


this movie was actually pretty decent I thought. Really good cgi except when the dude gets decapitated. Anyway if your in the market for a horror movie check this one out. It does take a bit of time for it to get going but I loved the idea of the haunted house.

YouTube - Dark House Trailer

[jamie]

Haven't really watched any movies lately I don't think mostly I've been watching friday the 13th the series and Dragonball. I'm almost done with friday the 13th the series though and I think movies will start coming again. I have a bunch of stuff in my instant queue but I can't watch it because my internet is capped I can watch like 3 a month.

[vampire13]

dude check this one
YouTube - Roid Rage (2011) - Trailer [HD]

[jamie]

haha, that might be funny but might be to disgusting.

[jamie]

your highness




that movie was pretty funny, it was a nice mix of comedy and action. A few kind of boring parts but still pretty funny. It's alot of adult humor but it works.

[TehFreshPrinceOfMetal]

Wait wait... I know this is old... But how could you not like the dark knight!! :shocked:

[jamie]

Wait wait... I know this is old... But how could you not like the dark knight!! :shocked:


I liked the dark knight.

[TehFreshPrinceOfMetal]

Talkin to Nicole....

[jamie]

So I finished off all of Friday the 13th the series. And It was a ok tv series but I think it should have gone on a little longer. I think if the name of the show was changed it would have stayed on longer.

They were cancelled so there wasn't a true finale, the last episode was of a cursed painting that if you touched it you would go back to the 1800's and the marquis de sade (might be misspelled) would basically get you and torture you to death and the owner of the painting would get some kind of parchment not sure of what though. But I thought it was a good episode.

[jamie]

Buried Alive



It was ok but the story was kind of confusing. I think I knew what they wanted you to think or know but for a movie like this they just need to come out and say it. Maybe have a bit of a back story before the story begins. The beginning of the movie is kinda confusing.

I'm not sure why the person who survived did either, I can say I might know why but I'm not sure of that

Anyway the movie is about a pair of cousins, 2 dudes, and the girl cousins pledges. They are supposed to be pledged or whatever into the fraternity. So they go up to the male cousins house I guess because apparently it's haunted and his family has a curse on it. Well both appear to be true as people start getting knocked off. I have to say the pledges in the movie were hot and so was the chick cousin. There's not alot of nudity but it's there except one of the chicks doesn't show anything.

There were a few parts I got scared on and I don't really get scared so I'd say it was a pretty creepy movie, the killer is pretty creepy looking though the movie is cookie cutter meaning there's nothing really new here and the kills while I've never seen something like it before just feel uninspired and too CGIey


YouTube - Buried Alive (2007) Trailer

[jamie]

Jonah Hex



it was ok I had a hard time hearing people talk though and I'm not sure if it's because of on demand or what but I had to have my surround sound cranked up to 60 which is the highest it can go and it's usually at 45. Megan Fox looked pretty hot in it too.

The Other Guys

wasn't my favorite movie at parts it was kinda hard to watch for me because it wasn't really funny. Eva Mendez though :motion:makeout:ihih::boobeyes:drool5:

It's about 2 cops who are like on the black list, one guy is the office gimp basically doing everything to please everybody and the other (mark wahlberg) shot derek jeter. Anyway the two top cops basically killed themselves for being stupid and now apparently other cops have to take up the slack and be like them. So it starts out with mark wahlberg finding something out and having a hunch that something was going wrong and them following up on it. And then finding out there really was a case and still getting laughed at about it.



The wolfman

it was going ok until the end. I could see why people hated this movie and I'm glad I didn't go and see it. It seems like it takes some parts from lon chaney jr's wolfman and makes some stuff up. The CGI at times looks good but at other times looks really really bad. Wasn't a fan of this one either and I was looking forward to it too.

ok not sure what happened at the very end there but I loathe the movie now.

[jamie]

Repo Men




this movie was horribly boring. Like there was some action just not enough and the story line was stupid and could be seen from miles away.

Basically it's about a dude who works for a corporation where you can go to them and they charge you for organs and they put them in you but you have to pay them. If you don't they come after you and take the organ out of you. There are no late fees or anything if your late they take the organ. Anyway one of the bounty hunters wants to leave but he's the best as what he does so just guess what happens and you got it.